Robert Dallek & Ellen Goodman -DOTM050

Robert Dallek, Historian

 

"Don't be intimidated by people who seem to be experts. Hear their points of view and get their judgements. But at the end of day, you've got to make a judgement because it's not their life that's going to be affected so much as your future."

 

Decision time. Something big. Something momentous that you can't avoid, and you must choose well. Consequences, good or bad are in the offing, and at this point you really wish you could see the future, or wish someone else could for you.

At this point, we look for others, hopefully expert others, who can help us navigate the rough waters ahead.

 

As I have mentioned before on Daggers Of The Mind, there is rarely a shortage of people who are willing to tell you what to do, and they have a variety of reasons for wanting to do so. Some are noble, some are not so noble.

 

You must be just as careful choosing whose advice to listen to as you do making the momentous decision itself.

 

Knowing who you can trust in advance is what makes the difference. Know who would care enough to steer you correctly, and who would sell you down the river just to feel a little superior, thus feeling better about themselves.

 

If you can find a person who cares and is also an expert, you really have something there. Unfortunately, even when you do your homework and think you know someone, you can be blindsided by a trait they had that you didn't see. If that happens, just do damage control where it is needed and get away as fast as you can. Don't agonize about it. They make their own decisions and live with their own consequences. All you can do is start from here.

 

When it comes down to the rubber meeting the proverbial road, you choose your own path. Get all the expert advice you can, but don't have paralysis by analysis. Get good info, and counseling if you can. Then launch. You can do this.

 

A quote from Caroline Kennedy:

 

"When you make the right decision, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks."

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Dallek

 

http://www.harpercollins.com/cr-101326/robert-dallek

 

 

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Ellen Goodman, Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist

 

“There’s a trick to the 'graceful exit.' It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”

 

 

Well, it's time to make a graceful exit. This is episode 50 of Daggers Of The Mind. It is also the final episode.

 

This is my first podcast, my baby. I have learned so much about how to podcast, and also how not to podcast. I still think this show is great, but it must make way for new opportunities and possibilities.

 

I would like to thank all those who didn't laugh, and supported me in starting podcasting in the first place. There is a core group who also listened to every episode, either from the beginning, or went back and listened after discovering the show somewhere in the middle.

 

I have discovered the magic that is missing in Daggers Of The Mind, and that is in the person of my wife, Dee. She is delightful and after 32 years of marriage, still my best friend and the love of my whole life.

 

Dee has a spontaneity and charm that I lack in the formal delivery of this show. After a few episodes of The WV Podcast, I can see just how valuable that is by the response we have received. I need to stop Daggers Of The Mind in order to put more time into The WV Podcast.

 

There is also the matter of voice over work and writing for publication that I have been neglecting.

 

Please don't stop thinking deeply as you go through the rest of your life. As I have said before, every person you meet knows something you don't, and you know something they don't. Please continue to learn from those around you and never stop.

 

 

A quote from Mahatma Gandhi:

 

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

 

http://www.ellengoodman.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellen_Goodman

 

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You can find everything we do at http://holbrooknewmedia.com

 

 

 

 

"And that's all I've got to say about that!"

 

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Sigourney Weaver & Muhammed Ali -DOTM049

Sigourney Weaver, Actor

 

“I don't have ambitions, I believe in taking what comes. I have that philosophy about life in general. I go in and try to transform it into the best it can be.”

 

You were just handed some lemons. What do you do? Most people are so familiar with that quote that they immediately say, “make lemonade”.

 

Ms Weaver is going a step beyond that. She doesn’t get creative only at the time when things are not going so great, she is talking about discovering what is available to you, be it good, bad, or ugly, and starting from there, and making the best you can of it in EVERY circumstance. If you are experienced at such things, you may even be able to make something more valuable than the sum of the parts available. 

 

Being intrepid in this manner is what saves the day, and even lives when they are on the line. Those who are able to think quickly but clearly can save themselves and other a lot of trouble, and can anticipate the moves required for some serious success in every area of life. This is a skill you really want to cultivate.

 

A quote from Nido Qubein  

 

“Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”

 

Sometimes it takes us a while to learn the lesson that limitations on what we can do are mostly piled on by our own insecurities, basically what we think we can do. The average human will not attempt something they know can’t be done. They simply will not waste the effort to try. 

 

We hear motivational speakers say, “If you think you can, you can.”

This is not some pie in the sky magic bullet to automatically solve all the problems in the world and make us richer than the dreams of avarice. There is a really good kernel of truth to this, and I am sure you have learned by now, I am going to tell you what I think it is.

 

Belief is the fuel for you efforts. The amount of energy expended to accomplish something is directly tied to the belief that it can be achieved. You simply won’t give it your all if you don’t believe. It’s just that simple.

 

Take what you are given, and build something that would make your mother-in-law proud of you!

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigourney_Weaver

 

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000244/

 

 

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 Mohammed Ali, The Greatest

 

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” 

 

Wasting thirty years would be a complete travesty. I think of those in prison who go in at an early age and then are old when they get out. What an amazing waste of human potential. I am not going to debate the pros and cons of crime and punishment or rehabilitation. This is just to illustrate the point that if you learned nothing between 20 and 50, you my friend, are in a sad state.

 

The human ability to learn, create and grow is extraordinary. When all that potential is stifled in an environment where there are so many chances to stimulate our brains and imaginations, it is clearly a crime.

 

When does this happen? It could be laziness in the person affected, it could be the fault of a parent who tried to keep them under their thumb for selfish reasons, or sometimes even physical abuse that causes someone to close up emotionally for safety from the savage world they live in.

 

When you see someone in a situation like that, try your best to give them something. You don’t know everything, so you can’t teach them everything. There is one simple thing you can do that will help for a lifetime. Try to instill in that person the actual desire to learn. If you can start that little fire, it could eventually create a burn that will be unstoppable later. 

 

A person who loves learning will get information from so many different sources, and will just start to absorb what is around them like a sponge. They will pick up some from your store of knowledge, but you don’t have to be the smartest person ever. That one little nugget you taught them of wanting to learn will serve them for a lifetime, even when you are not around.

 

Don’t just hand someone a fish, that will only feed them for a day. Actually teach them to fish, and you will feed their hunger for a life time.

 

There is an interesting article in the Huffington Post entitled “Things You Learn By 50. Check it out! The link will be in the show notes for Episode 49 of Daggers Of The Mind.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/09/things-you-learn-by-50_n_7536838.html

 

http://muhammadali.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Ali

 

https://www.facebook.com/MuhammadAliVerified

 

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I would like to thank the band Portal for allowing me to use their music in Daggers Of The Mind. Their website is portalpraise.homestead.com

 

Don’t forget about the other show I do with my wife Dee. It is called the WV Podcast and is about the great state of West Virginia and the stories of the amazing people that make it such a great place to live. You can find everything we do at wvpodcast.com, or in the “All of us West Virginians” group on Facebook.

 

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David Bowie & Bill Withers -DOTM048

David Bowie, Rock Star

 

“As you get older, the questions come down to about two or three. How long? And what do I do with the time I've got left?”

 

Death is considered by many to be the ultimate end of all of us. While a lot of people live what is affectionately known as a “full lifetime”, many never get that chance. 

 

Those who die early from fast living, you know, that self destructive type of life that can kill you in an instant, and maybe take someone else down at the same time, aren’t giving this any thought at all.

 

Those who have early life illness, especially those who have known nothing else, don’t usually have the span of time or experience to think this deeply.

 

It is only when life is slowing down from the main rat race we have been running in for those early years that we pause and evalutate what we have accomplished, and what we would like to accomplish before we go. It is summed up in one word. Legacy. What will people think and say when we are mentioned? Did we just make a splash, or did we do something meaningful. 

 

I remember hearing once of the Darwin Award which was supposed to go to the least evolved human of that year. It was awarded to a guy who was attempting a robbery of a soft drink machine. He rocked the machine back and forth until it fell on him and became the instrument of his untimely demise.

 

In spite of the seriousness of a human death, the fact of his stupidity in making it happen is pretty hilarious. Do you want to remembered as “that stupid guy”, or would you want others to respect the fact that your life counted for something and was well lived?

 

Being famous has absolutely nothing to do with having a meaningful life. Many times fame is the thing that makes a life even less meaningful. 

 

On the most basic level, our relationship with our family is the most important contribution you can make in this world. My wife and I have one child, a daughter, and I will be content if I can leave her with success and life relationships as least as good as my own.

 

Sure I have ambitions beyond this, but if I fail at home, I will not accomplish anything else worth a legacy. This being said, also remember I have said before that family is not about blood, it is about relationship. Your family is formed around you. It could be stepchildren, your closest friends or even a close knit Facebook group you are a member of. 

 

Sure, go and conquer the world. But make sure before you go that you have done the most important things first. Make sure you have actually LIVED!

 

 

Mark Twain

 

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

 

http://davidbowie.com/fiveyears/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Bowie

 

https://www.facebook.com/davidbowie

 

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Bill Withers, Singer/Songwriter

 

“I feel that it is healthier to look out at the world through a window than through a mirror. Otherwise, all you see is yourself and whatever is behind you.”

 

Many people have a limited view of the world.

It is pretty easy to tell when a person is focused on themselves rather than others and are living in their old accomplishments instead looking for new experiences.

 

As we age, we realize there is more time behind us than in front of us. It makes us evaluate everything we have done, analyzing our legacy that will presented to the future.

 

After we are gone, we can’t do much to correct any mistakes, so healthy introspection is OK. This being said, do you plan to live in the past all the time, or is there something else you want to accomplish? 

 

What would you really like to do? Is there something like learning to play a musical instrument, another language, or hey, how about starting a Podcast talking about something you are passionate about?

 

I have always thought that you never truly grow old until you have nothing to look forward to in your life, and are only looking back. Some people truly have nothing else to accomplish, but I suspect that most voluntarily grow old by choosing not to dream anymore, and just spend all their time looking back, reliving the glory days.

 

I had glory days, when I was in high school, playing basketball, state and national competitions in various events, and just a great time. At that part of my life and into my 20s, measuring that against the total time of my life, my glory days were huge! Looking back now, it is a very small portion the time I have lived. It diminishes in importance the older I get. Compared to things I did later, being married to the the love of my life, being father to a really cool daughter, etc, it just seems like so much kid stuff. BTW, I will be 52 next month.

 

As long as you keep looking ahead and planning to do things, you will not grow old. When you stop growing, that is the sign that you are preparing to die, whether you recognize the condition or not. Build anticipation in yourself for that next great thing you want to do. You won’t regret it, and you may just feel a little younger!

 

 A final quote:

 

“An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing.”

 

Samuel Smiles

 

 

http://www.billwithers.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Withers

 

https://www.facebook.com/BillWithers

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Don't forget to check out the other podcast I do with my wife, Dee, called The WV Podcast. You can find this and everything we do at wvpodcast.com. Subscribe on the site for email notifications of new blog posts and podcast episodes. 

 

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Paul McCartney & John Lennon -DOTM047

The celebrities quoted today were suggested by Craig of the DisAfterDark podcast. The DisAfterDark podcast takes place in the Mouses Head pub in the United Kingdom. They describe the show like this:  "Yet another Disney Podcast, probably containing childish grown up language for immature adults." I really enjoy the show. Check it out at disafterdark.com

 Links to Craig and show he cohosts with be in the show notes for episode 47 of Daggers Of The Mind.

 

@bcl1973 @disafterdark 

 

https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/disafterdark-disney-podcast/id499831329?mt=2

 

http://www.disafterdark.com/

 

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Paul McCartney

 

“We were a savage little lot, Liverpool kids, not pacifist or vegetarian or anything. But I feel I've gone beyond that, and that it was immature to be so prejudiced and believe in all the stereotypes.”

 

Hey, grow up! Of course in many ways NOT growing up, keeping that sense of wonder, your creativity, etc is perfectly fine and actually best, but what about those immature and petty things we used to cling to before we learned what the world was all about?

There was a girl I dated for a couple of years in late junior high, into high school. Thinking back, I am totally embarassed about the childish way I treated her.  I was after all, a child. This haunted me for years, we all grew up and her and my wife became acquainted and became fast friends. Once my daughter and I encountered her at a basketball game when my daughter’s school played theirs. I introduced her as a girl I dated in Junior High, and I loved the look on my daughter’s face that I had ever dated anyone but her mother.

I then mentioned that even though she was a year younger than me, she had been much more mature than I was during the relationship. She looked totally shocked and disagreed with me completely. We had a laugh and then she asked where Dee was, and you could see them over there having an animated conversation, just thrilled to see each other.

For years I had gone on just sure she thought I was a “snake in the grass” so to speak, but found out that she was actually worried about what I thought of her.

As adults, we should be able to see clearly enough to get past the pettiness of our youth. 

We did a lot of things that would be considered offensive in adults, and had various prejudices that were basically untested things we had no experience with. We just took someone else’s word and hopped on the band wagon to belong. A grown adult should have learned long ago what is childish, and what is mature.

 

From the Bible, 1st Corinthians 13:11

 

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

 

Apologize if you must, but just grow up.

 

http://www.paulmccartney.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_McCartney

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John Lennon

 

“When you're drowning, you don't say 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,' you just scream.”

 

Desperation. Everything is hitting the fan and you don’t know what to do. It could even be a life threatening thing such as the drowning Mr. Lennon described. Now, what is your recourse in a time such as this? 

Are you ready, just in case? Or have you burned so many bridges to relationships that there is no one around to rescue you in that critical moment? Take a moment and analyze your behavior and see if you have the matches in your hand and are trying to destroy, in advance, any chance of rescue.

Are you tearing through life like a bull in a china shop breaking everything in sight, including relationships? If you take a more gentle path, maybe even help people when you can, there will be someone there ready to put their hand out in your most desperate hour.

Just because you are theoretically invincible now, doesn’t mean you always will be. As you age, you will get weaker in many ways, and it is a real jolt when you have been a mover and shaker in this world, and you find out that your moving and shaking is making less of a difference than it used to.

If you went through life only thinking of yourself, if you ran over others with impunity, never realizing your time was coming, you most likely will get what you deserve.

Others with your attitude will come along and grind you under their wheels in exactly the same manner, and there won’t be a single thing you can do about it.

If, on the other hand, you helped others as you made your journey, protecting them from the road warrior types, there will be grateful people around you who will help you when you are no longer able to defend yourself.

This brings to mind a bumper sticker I have seen a few times:  Be nice to your children because they will be picking your nursing home.

While there are more reasons to be nice to others than this, if you are totally selfish, at least be nice because of what it may mean to your own future.

 

The expected final quote:

 

"The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish."

Pope John Paul II

 

http://www.johnlennon.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Lennon

 

Don't forget the show I do with my wife Dee, The WV Podcast!

 

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Ringo Starr & George Harrison -DOTM046

The celebrities quoted today were suggested by Craig of the DisAfterDark podcast. The DisAfterDark podcast takes place in the Mouses Head pub in the United Kingdom. They describe the show like this:  "Yet another Disney Podcast, probably containing childish grown up language for immature adults." I really enjoy the show. Check it out at disafterdark.com

 Links to Craig and show he cohosts with be in the show notes for episode 46 of Daggers Of The Mind.

 

@bcl1973 @disafterdark 

 

https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/disafterdark-disney-podcast/id499831329?mt=2

 

http://www.disafterdark.com/

 

 

Ringo Starr

 

“I remember the day Zak was born. It was the first time I'd felt totally useless. There was Maureen having our baby. She kept on crying "Help!" and I kept asking "How?".”

 

The most lost any man can ever feel is in this very situation. The love of your life is in pain, and she is going through this pain, for you and also because of you, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to lessen her pain.

When this happens, or any other situation you can’t get your loved one out of occurs, there is one very important thing you can do. Just be there and give moral support. 

Just not walking away and leaving them alone makes all the difference. They know you would take this from them if you could, but since you can’t, you are going to be with them as they cope.

When Dee was having our daughter, we had just gone through several years of infertility work. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind or hers that this was exactly what we wanted. We were both totally educated on the different stages of birth and the birthing classes had us sharpened to a fine point. Hehehe!

Honestly. I didn’t faint, and we didn’t panic. I only had one official act as birthing coach, and my main use was that she felt the need to squeeze my head in her arms when she had a contraction. I fulfilled that office admirably. We had the usual excitement, but everything was under control  and we rolled with it, had the baby and it was over. Things have been great ever since.

In episode 30 of Daggers Of The Mind, I told the story of a man we found laying beside his bicycle on the edge of the road. He was alone and with a broken femur, he was in a lot of pain. We stopped to help and was able to stabilize the injury and call an ambulance.

When he was on the phone to family members, he said that “an angel and her husband” were helping him.

We did very little but offer support at a time he was helpless, but the effect was way out of proportion to the effort it took to help. You can be someone’s angel today. If you see the opportunity, take it. It costs you so little, but it helps so much.

 

http://holbrooknewmedia.com/2015/04/20/bart-starr-j-k-rowling-dotm030/

 

 

http://www.ringostarr.com/

 

 

http://www.ringostarr.com/

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George Harrison

 

“Gossip is the Devil’s radio.”

 

This quote was created back in the day when it was generally accepted that the Devil was the symbol of evil. So we can assume that Mr. Harrison thought that gossip was a bad thing.

Gossip is indeed like a cancer. People who are susceptible to it catch the disease and spread it. It can go viral just like things do on the Internet and destroy lives. Some people have even committed suicide over a rumor that everyone believed about them. The damage can be devastating.

A few years ago there was somebody, as yet unknown, who decided to test the marriages of the employees who seemed to have the best relationships by calling their spouses anonymously and claiming that they knew for a fact that the employee was having an affair with someone else. It caused plenty of trouble around the workplace. I heard that there were breakups, but I can’t confirm it. 

The interesting thing is that when I heard about it happening to someone, I told my wife at home and she said, “Oh, that’s no big deal, they called me last month”.

She told them she had no idea who they were, but she did know me, and there was no way I was having an affair, and hung up on them. She didn’t even worry enough about it to ask me until I brought it up myself since it was being done to other people.

Bottom line. She knew me, she trusted me, and we just breezed right by that test. It kind of makes me think the person who was making the calls must have failed at marriage themselves, and either felt that no one else deserved a good one, or wanted to be convinced it was actually possible to love for a lifetime.

Whatever their reason, it was a purely evil thing to do. Gossip destroys. Period. That is it’s only purpose. There is no good that can ever come out of it. People who engage in it sometimes are unaware of the carnage it is capable of creating, and just go blissfully along hurting, and maybe even killing others’ dreams, their faith, and sometimes their will to live. Don’t spread the radio programs the Devil wants people to hear. There are plenty of good things you can spread instead. Help. Don’t hurt. You and everyone you know will be better for it.

 

A final quote by Blake Lively

 

“People gossip. People are insecure, so they talk about other people so that they won't be talked about. They point out flaws in other people to make them feel good about themselves. I think at any age or any social class, that's present.”

 

 

http://www.georgeharrison.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Harrison

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Don't forget the other show I do with my wife, The WV Podcast!

 

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Walt Disney & Roy Disney -DOTM045

The celebrities quoted today were suggested by Craig of the DisAfterDark podcast. The DisAfterDark podcast takes place in the Mouses Head pub in the United Kingdom. They describe the show like this:  "Yet another Disney Podcast, probably containing childish grown up language for immature adults." I really enjoy the show. Check it out at disafterdark.com

 Links to Craig and show he cohosts with be in the show notes for episode 45 of Daggers Of The Mind.

 

@bcl1973

@disafterdark 

 

https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/disafterdark-disney-podcast/id499831329?mt=2

 

http://www.disafterdark.com/

 

 

Walt Disney, Creator Of The Famous Mouse

 

“All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

 

No pain no gain. Quite the cliché in our world, but there is still a lot of truth in it. Walt Disney and his older brother Roy had quite a bit of adversity before becoming the overnight success we know of today. Several starts and stops were required to learn the lessons they needed to succeed.

Once Walt found out another company had the rights to a character they were cartooning and they not only lost the chance to the character property, but also all but one of the employees that were doing the actual animation.

I do believe that would qualify as a kick in the teeth for anybody.

Since Walt was the creative one, and not so good at business, his older brother Roy came in to run the business end, and that was when the famous mouse was born. Each had their strengths and weaknesses, and freeing up Walt to be creative and letting the introverted Roy handle the paperwork was a magical combination.

Yes, Mickey Mouse came in and saved the day. He was originally going to be called Mortimer, but fortunately that was changed. Good move.

When you get your official kick in the teeth in your endeavors, don’t quit, evaluate what went wrong and then team up with others who have talents you don’t possess. Recognition of other people’s talents and pulling together are major ingredients for getting things done. 

Check your ego at the door, make sure your teeth are tightening back up and get to work. It’s time to become that overnight success!

A quote from President Bill Clinton:

"If you live long enough, you'll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you'll be a better person. It's how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit."

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Disney

 

Walt Disney in the International Movie Database

 

http://disney.com/

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Roy Disney, Uncle Of The Famous Mouse

 

“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.”

 

Why does a person spend all their time trying to please others? I think it is probably because they really don’t have a clearly defined idea of their own values. If that is the case, there is a desperate attempt to find the values of other people that can be substituted for their own.

Your core values are what determines what direction you take on any issue. Even when you do research and learn things that fine tune your paths, there should be a basic and stable center that you rely on for your final decision on anything.

When you are unsure of where you really stand, trying to please others becomes paramount because it relieves you of the responsibility of stepping out and being committed to a specific path. Then, any failure will be their fault, not yours.

This is a very bad move because you end up being wishy washy. When person number 1 is near, you try to do what they would, and when person 2 is around, you may do the exact opposite. This can create conflict, and in extreme cases, serious harm to your reputation and your friendships.

This also leaves you open to the type of people that enjoy the power of manipulating others. You are just standing there waiting to be told what to do. Unscrupulous people are ready to oblige.

When a conversation starts with “I dare you to”, that is a clear case of being manipulated to do something you shouldn’t. Why would anyone ever bother to dare you to do what is right?

Know your own core values. What is right and what is wrong should be static, not flexible. Situational ethics can get you in just as much trouble as being led by whoever happens to be standing around.

As an example, I actually heard someone say the other day that it is OK to steal from Walmart, but not from a small store. It seems to me a little tilted. If it is wrong on a mom and pop store, it is also wrong to steal from Walmart. 

Lock them in, and be ready to take a stand when the rubber meets the road. When faced with the choice, the choice is simple. Definate, fixed core values make it easy to point in a decisive direction and go for it.

A final thought from Senator Cory Booker:

"If you look at great human civilizations, from the Roman Empire to the Soviet Union, you will see that most do not fail simply due to external threats but because of internal weakness, corruption, or a failure to manifest the values and ideals they espouse."

 

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_O._Disney

 

http://www.mouseplanet.com/9562/The_Forgotten_Brother_Who_Built_a_Magic_Kingdom

 

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Would like to say a special thanks to Martin Lindeskog of Gothenburg, Sweden for tweeting and promoting the show on Twitter.com. He describes himself at a Nuismatist, Renaissance Man & American in Spirit. He's a great guy, and I really appeciate the shout outs!!!

@Lyceum

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Britney Spears & Jada Pinkett Smith -DOTM044

Britney Spears, Rock Star

 

“Sometimes it’s our secrets that define us.”

 

Secrets are usually things you don’t want others to know about. Hiding the 

truth changes everything. Most of the time it is not even something that is 

so horrible that others would shun us or want us dead. 

 

It is surprising to learn that many times the things we worry about most 

don’t really concern others very much. It changes our behavior because of our 

level of worry, but in the big scheme of things it is actually kind of small.

But there are other types of secrets that can influence your behavior. 

Consider this quote:

 

“A man's true secrets are more secret to himself than they are to others.”

 

Paul Valery

 

There are little subconscious influencers we all live by that we don’t think 

of as secret, but we still use them to make decisions. Interestingly enough, 

these things are many times known about us by the rest of the world. If we 

shouted it from the mountaintops, they would be no more public and obvious 

than they are now.

 

The roots of these things are in life changing experiences we had when we 

were younger. Did you ever stick your finger in a light socket or a fire when 

you were small? Lesson learned. There are plenty of good lessons that we are 

not conscious of that rule us every day.

 

Then there is that other category. I know a lady whose father spent most of 

his time telling her what she thought was worthless, and she didn’t have any 

business saying anything at all. Even when she is not directly thinking of 

it, actually, ESPECIALLY when she is not thinking of it, this rules her 

thoughts and actions.

 

Physical assault is addressed in law. Mental assault, not so much. Damage is 

caused by the little secrets placed in the subconscious minds of unsuspecting 

children. This can be by parents, teachers and other kids. Even trusted 

authority figures can do serious life long harm to the mind of a child simply 

by not being careful in what they say.

 

Be careful not to cause this type of mental damage with your negligence, and 

definitely don’t cause it intentionally. We all know people who have 

interesting phobias that we can see, but are completely hidden and secret to 

the person in question.

 

As my friend Jan says, take a gentle path through life. Many times it is 

better to leave things undisturbed than to mess them up. Just be considerate 

and nice. It is as simple as that.

 

http://www.britneyspears.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Britney_Spears

 

https://twitter.com/britneyspears

 

-----------------------------------

 

Jada Pinkett Smith, Actress and Singer

 

“Lack of confidence is what makes you want to change somebody else's mind. When you're OK, you don't need to convince anyone else in order to empower yourself.”

 

Imagine someone you don’t particularly care for is wrong about something. 

Just flat wrong. I don’t mean something that is likely to get them killed. I 

don’t mean something that is going to negatively affect you or those you 

love. But all the same, you feel the insatiable desire to set them straight.

 

It seems they are not really the one with the problem after all. Isn’t it the 

right of everyone to wrong if they decide that is what they want to think? 

You are totally convinced of the righteous rightness of your position, but 

who elected you king so that your will must be obeyed instead of letting them 

control their own destiny?

 

I think a lot of times it is our fear of being proven wrong that makes us 

loudly proclaim our rightness in such an arrogant fashion. We would be 

mortified to find we really were wrong, and we try to make our position so 

loud that we can hopefully intimidate them into not challenging us.

 

Of course if they do challenge us, then the fall from grace is started from a 

much higher altitude. It is also a much louder and much more public thud when 

you crash and burn.

 

There used to be a game show back in the 70’s called Rhyme and Reason. It 

required celebrities to make up rhymes on the spot, many times with hilarious 

results.

 

My favorite regular actor on the show was Nipsey Russel. He was so good at 

it, that they always had him to make up a rhyme at the end of the show to 

give some good advice to the fans those watching. You know, a thought to take 

with them for the week. Kind of like this show. (hint, hint)

 

My favorite one I heard Mr. Russel say was this:

 

“Be careful of the words you say to keep them soft and sweet. You never know 

from day to day which ones you’ll have to eat.”

 

If lives are in peril over the situation, then press forward and convince 

that person what needs to be done to save lives. There are few situations 

that don’t involve life saving that are so important that your ego can't take 

a small vacation and let the other person continue the thoughts that make 

them comfortable. You know, kind of like the way you like to feel about your 

own thoughts.

 

Simply put, let it go. Surely you can do that every now and then.

 

http://www.jadapinkettsmith.com/

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jada_Pinkett_Smith

 

https://twitter.com/jadapsmith?lang=en

 

 

-----------------------------------

Some special "Thanks" are in order for Dana McDonald who gave us the use of a 

very nice studio condenser microphone, and Dana Tucker who donated a mixing 

console that will enable us to capture telephone interviews for the other show I do with my wife Dee, The WV Podcast.

 

Dana Tucker has also interviewed Dee for his own podcast, Podcasters Blog. 

The subject is the complications that can occur when trying to record an 

internet radio show with Sjogren's Disease and other autoimmune disorders. 

 

You can check out the show notes for links on episode 4 of the WV Podcast. 

They will also be included in the show notes for episode 44 of Daggers Of The 

Mind.

 

http://mixlr.com/dana-tucker/

https://www.danatucker.com/

https://www.danatucker.com/podcast/

http://www.podcastingforum.net/

 

 

 

Thank you so much for listening. Links to subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, 

TuneIn and Android phones are available at daggersofthemind.com. While you're 

there, check out The WV Podcast, the other show I do with my wife, Dee.

 

If you are listening on Facebook or Twitter, share it with your friends. It 

only takes a moment, and it helps so much.

If you want to hear quotes from your favorite celebrities or just want to 

tell us what you think of the show, contact us at:

   

feedback@daggersofthemind.com

 

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Roger Moore & Cassandra Peterson -DOTM043

Roger Moore, Actor and UNICEF Ambassador

 

“I've always said if you've nothing nice to say about someone, then you should say nothing.” 

 

When you trash somebody, what actual good does it do? There is an effect, but what does it tell others about that person? Better yet, what does it tell others about you?

Imagine if you will, that what you are telling is the exact, and honest truth. There is absolutely no chance that what you are telling is in anyway of dubious origin. That established, there are times when you may want to tell someone something negative. 

An example. If you have personal knowledge that a certain young man is a habitual date rapist and you see him getting interested in your friend’s daughter, this would be an excellent time to inform your friend of the danger.

If on the other hand, you don’t like the way this young man dresses or you don’t like his attitude, or his piercings, tattoos or even his bow tie, looking at your friend and saying, “I’ll bet he’s a date rapist. You can tell by looking at him.” All you are doing is letting your biases and prejudices make huge leaps in what you are thinking. Find out the facts before you speak, and sometimes don’t even speak then.

A real life example: When my daughter was in school there was a boy who made some unwelcome and shocking comments about what he wanted to do to her. He got in trouble for it and the situation was taken care of through the appropriate channels. A few months later, the principal approached me and told me of an incident of exactly the same nature involving the same boy. He was shocked by my first question. “Is this a new incident, or is it just recycled gossip?”

His experience with fathers was that normally the death of the boy in questions would be imminent if the father was allowed to go and do what he felt like doing. 

My first inclination was find out if this was actually factual, or just the old story making the rounds again. I explained that if he was going along and being honorable and they came down on him again when he had done nothing, it could create a condition where he would begin to believe that there was no benefit at all in correct behavior, and he would revert and become worse than before. Once we knew the truth of it, action could be taken, or not, according to the outcome.

It turned out to be a recycled rumor told by someone who wanted something to shock her friends with. The boy never knew what had happened as far as I know. It was best that way.

I don’t know how his life turned out, but I know at least I didn’t contribute to his downfall if he indeed ever had one.

 

Roger Moore's Personal Site

 

Roger Moore on Wikipedia

 

Roger Moore in the International Movie Database

 

 

 

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Cassandra Peterson, Actress

 

“He is one hundred percent responsible for me getting out of Vegas and going on with my career. Elvis said to me, "You don't want to stay here. This is not a town you should be in." And I don't think if that would've come from anybody but Elvis, I would've done it.”

 

We have to be selective when we take advice. There are basically three criteria we should consider before doing so.

1. Do you trust this person? A basic trust is necessary to even begin to consider taking advice. How long have you known them? Have they ever lied to you or have they taken advantage of you? Many who are so called friends are those users that are trying to get all they can. They will treat you well until there is some advantage they can gain by tossing you over the side. Make sure this is a real friend.

2. What will that person stand to gain if you follow their advice? This is a back up check on the trust issue. If they will gain an enormous amount of advantage, money or fame because of your actions, you had better give point number one a closer look. Sometimes your welfare and theirs can coincide, but if the biggest advantage is theirs, look a little deeper.

3. Does this person know anything about the area they are advising you on?

After the first two are all taken care of and you are sure there is no reason for the person to deceive you, you may realize that, in spite of being totally trustworthy, they have absolutely no idea what is going on in the subject area under discussion. Some well meaning people will give you an answer just to feel smart. They probably don’t mean you ill, they just need to feel important.

All this investigation can be completed in a second or two if you know your friends well.

Advice is a valuable commodity. The easiest way to get a regular supply of good advice is to surround yourself with people you like and respect. It doesn’t hurt at all for them to be diverse as well, since diversity brings different experiences that work well for the entire group to learn and benefit from. Humans are really good at learning from the experiences of others, but unfortunately, many are not inclined to do so.

The quality of advice many times comes down to the quality of the friend who is giving it. Please don’t surround yourself with users. And don’t be a user yourself. There is no reason we have to know everything when there are so many of us around to share knowledge. It works so much better that way.

 

Cassandra Peterson on Wikipedia

 

Cassandra Peterson in the International Movie Database

 

Cassandra Peterson on Twitter

 

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My wife Dee and I are doing a new show called the WV Podcast. Check it out at wvpodcast.com.

 

Download this episode!

Margaret Fuller & Robert Downey Jr -DOTM042

Margaret Fuller, Journalist and Women’s Rights Advocate

 

"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it." 

 

Interesting metaphor, knowledge being like fire, huh? Fire is interesting in that a very small quantity can do very large things when it is allowed to grow. It needs air and fuel, and for good or ill, it’s off to the races!

 

Knowledge is one of the things you can give to other people that costs you nothing, but can have a tremendous impact on another’s life. Sometimes you can change a person’s life direction or circumstances dramatically just by giving them that missing piece to the puzzle, allowing them to complete the picture.

 

There is nothing more exciting than that look of comprehension and triumph when they suddenly get it. Really get it. You just handed them the tool they didn’t know existed, and it made it possible to complete their project, or even change their life.

 

It’s really cool for you to realize how much you’ve been able to help. Not that smug pride that shows your immaturity because you knew something they didn’t, but being honestly happy to help is a great feeling and sorely lacking in today’s society.

 

Another obvious benefit is the fact I have mentioned a few times before: everybody knows something you don’t. It is therefore a good bet that other people will want to reciprocate and do you that same favor when you have hit that proverbial brick wall.

 

It’s simply golden rule stuff. “Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you.” It’s kind of hard to be consistently mean to people who are nice to you all the time. 

 

 

A quote from Sonya Sotomayor, Supreme Court Justice

 

“Don’t mistake politeness for lack of strength.”

 

Being nice is not a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign that a person has enough strength to not be afraid of the consequences of being nice if they encounter a generally mean person. You know, a user. 

 

The main problem users have is that once they have made their rounds on all those supposedly weak people, getting what they could with no intention of giving back, they eventually find themselves with no friends when a really big crisis happens. Not very funny.

 

Be free with the knowledge you have gained. You will eventually form a network of reliable friends who know what each is best at, and who to ask advice of when it counts the most. 

 

Proverbs 18:24 

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” 

 

http://www.margaretfuller.org/

 

Margaret Fuller in Wikipedia

 

Margaret Fuller on Biography.com

 

-------------------------------------

 

Robert Downey Jr. Actor

“I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.”

 

There for a while we were all wondering about Robert Downey Jr. He seemed to be getting in a lot of trouble when he had so much going for him. Being arrested can be a pretty demeaning experience, especially for the rich and famous. It can occasionally be a career busting event.

 

This being said, have you ever made a big mistake? You know, a really big, public, can’t get-away-from-it-every-time-somebody-sees-you mistake? Totally embarrassing, even humiliating, it makes you want to move to a new town. Now, the big question is this. Did you learn anything? Robert Downey Jr. learned that when he performed a certain act when he was sober, it followed that as he got more drunk, his behavior deteriorated, and he always woke up with handcuffs on. 

 

Oh yeah, he was also at a police station. While I have a lot of respect for those officers who diligently and honestly keep us safe from evildoers, I do not wish to spend my weekend evenings with them if I can help it.

 

It’s simple math. Alcohol + Robert Downey Jr. = handcuffs.

 

Don’t do anything that you know has a regular bad outcome if you do it. Once you have learned this lesson, what is your next step? Fortunately you have options.

 

Another Robert Downey Jr quote:

“The lesson is that you can still make mistakes and be forgiven.”

 

 Now one from Bruce Lee:

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”

 

 

Psychologytoday.com has a cool post on forgiveness. Check it out. The link will be included in the show notes for Episode 42 at daggersofthemind.com.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201102/30-quotes-forgiveness

 

Robert Downey Jr. in Wikipedia

 

Robert Downey Jr. in the International Movie Database

 

Robert Downey Jr. on Twitter

 

----------------------------------------------

Don’t forget to check out the new show I am doing with my wife Dee. It’s called the WV Podcast. Hollywood and the national media seem to portray West Virginians as illiterate, and otherwise ignorant hillbillies.

While we know this exists, the purpose is not to whine about it, but to tell the actual and factual stories of the people who make our beautiful state their home.

While we will occasionally have stories about traditional music and lore which is a proud part of our heritage, we also want to meet people who have passions and hobbies that don’t quite fit the traditional mold. Real people live here, and their real stories will be interesting and informative to those who are fair minded enough to want to know us for what we really are.

You can find the show at wvpodcast.com. Check it out. If you know of a clean West Virginia related story that would be good for the show, let us know. Contact us at feedback@wvpodcast.com. 

 

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Ashton Kutcher & Douglas Adams -DOTM041

Ashton Kutcher, Actor

 

“Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It's the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, 'This is me, and I'm interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not.”

 

Have you ever noticed how backward dating is? You have two people who are desperately trying to act like someone they aren’t going to a place they aren’t comfortable, and trying to look good doing it. Not easy to pull off.

On my first date with Dee, I was conscious of the fact that the guy she had casually dated just before me had a really great car. I had a subcompact car. To make matters worse, the day of the date, my brother borrowed my car and the unfortunate tendency for the back popout window to popout for real occurred that very day. It wasn’t his fault and I knew it. Any other day it would have been fine, but having an inferior car that also had electrical tape around the door face on her side was a little tough to take.

It was bothering me when I picked her up, and I could hear it rattle as we went down the road. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I said, “Do you hear that rattle back there?” She listened and said “No.” I told her the story and she honestly hadn’t noticed the tape or the rattle in the dark.

I was the one with the problem. She was fine. Talking about completely cleared my mind and we had a wonderful date. It also did something else. It served to show me that she couldn’t care less about the kind of car I had, she was going on this date because she found me interesting and if I had picked her up on a motor scooter, she would have been just fine.

I really feel if I had been macho and avoided the situation, my nervousness could have ruined our first date. 32 years later, I am very glad that didn’t happen. She had a completely different frame of mind for the date, and the type of car or its condition was not remotely important. Her reaction to this situation spoke volumes about the kind of person she was, and that this was a relationship worth exploring.

 

Ricardo Montalban

“True love doesn't happen right away; it's an ever-growing process. It develops after you've gone through many ups and downs, when you've suffered together, cried together, laughed together.”

 

You find out the most about a person when everything hits the fan. I was not looking for a person who did everything I said and cowered when adversity reared its ugly head. I would give my life to protect her, but if we were in a foxhole under attack, she wouldn’t be hiding, she would be shooting beside me to help save us.

I have said before, she knows me better than anyone else in the world, and loves me anyway. She knows my good, bad and ugly, but is willing to tolerate all of it because she loves me so much. Each day brings new adversity or triumph, but each day also brings a closer love and understanding. I hope someday you can find a relationship like ours.

 

Ashton Kutcher on Wikipedia

 

Ashton Kutcher on International Movie Database

 

Ashton Kutcher on Facebook

-----------------------------

 

Douglas Adams, Writer

 

“I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.”

 

Mr. Adams is known for his hilarious writing style, but this quote indicates a problem that many people have. Namely, the unwillingness to see evidence that could alter their way of thinking.

We all have value systems that it is said are locked into by around age 20. While we have the capability to learn all of our lives, there are some areas we rope off from the rest of the world and refuse to even hear any evidence that could even slightly adjust the way we see things.

We have built our entire lives on these foundations but we will not inspect these foundations for fear we will find cracks that will cause our house to be condemned. It has the same effect as a child putting their fingers in their ears and saying “lalalalalala” hoping not to hear and therefore being able to ignore the information.

I really feel this is what contributes to what is called the “generation gap”. One generation was raised to believe that life should be a certain way, and is totally unwilling to even look at a minor adjustment. The next generation is just as unwilling to listen to ANYTHING the previous one has to say, just sure that NOTHING good could be added to what they think.

A word of advice that may help. It’s simply this: Just listen. Give a fair hearing to new ideas. If you do, you will occasionally be able to improve yourself as a person. There is also another benefit. If you were courteous enough to hear someone else out, they may then give you the same in return. After all you have earned it.

Many time the truth hurts, but at least make sure you are listening enough to find out what the truth really is, instead of living by information you obtained 50 years ago and have never revisited. Just like insurance coverage, your old policy may not be adequate for today’s realities.

Be ready to gather information that makes you perform at peak efficiency. Not listening can put you at a distinct disadvantage in living your life. The truth is, after all, the truth.

 

Elvis Presley

 

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away.”

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Douglas Adams in Wikipedia

 

http://douglasadams.com/

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Carly Fiorina & Steve Jobs -DOTM040

Carly Fiorina, Former CEO, and Current Presidential Candidate

 

“I lost my job in the most public way possible, and the press had a field day with it all over the world. And guess what? I'm still here.”

 

When everything hits the fan, most people call it failure, and that is usually construed as quite the negative. Being human, this a completely natural reaction, mostly because it’s hard to feel positive when things didn’t work despite your best efforts, and you are not in control of the outcome.

How do successful people look at this type of situation? Ms. Fiorina decided to run for office. In 2010 she won the Republican nomination for the U. S. Senate in a three way race in California, but lost in the general election. Strike two. At the time of this episode, she is running for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Whatever she ends up accomplishing she is quite driven and will continue to go for it. In this case, she will either lose in the primary, or general elections, but stands a chance of being the first woman to be president of the United States. If she didn’t run, she definitely would not have a chance. But she is, and she could be.

 

C. S.Lewis

“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.”

 

In Episode 9 of Daggers Of The Mind, Michael Jordan talks about how you have to expect something of yourself before you can do anything. Later in the same episode, Thomas Edison, one of the worlds greatest failures is quoted. He is really only known for the amazing successes he is credited for. The incandescent light bulb is probably the best known.

He failed more than a thousand times before he discovered the secret. I don’t know many people with that kind of tenacity.

When you crash and burn, put out the fire and see what is left in the debris. You will be surprised at the amazing value in what remains. You’ll find some building blocks for the next attempt, and some serious lessons learned. It’s time to get up, dust yourself off and get cracking!

 

Carly Fiorina on Wikipedia

Carly For America

Carly Fiorina On Facebook

 

 

------------------------------------

 

Steve Jobs, Legendary Apple Computer Guy

 

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

 

Impending death is certainly a sobering thought. I imagine for all of us, this would be something that would make you come up close and personal and evaluate everything you have done, and what you still have time to do.

Today would be a different day with different priorities if you knew you didn’t have long on this earth. There are lot things we find really important now that would seem quite frivolous with that hanging over you.

Now this begs to ask, Why do we wait until we are dying before we take a serious look at our priorities? Shouldn’t our agenda be similar anyway? How much do we do every day that could be discarded in favor of the truly worthy causes?

A great article on setting your priorities straight for a happier life is on tinyBuddha.com. The link will be in the show notes for episode 40.

Take a moment right now and think about this. What are you doing today that would be completely discarded if you were dying? Now it’s time to ask yourself why are you doing this in the first place. Could you think of something more important to take its position in your agenda?

A lot of the things we do in a given day are the urgent things, not what is actually important. Things that start as important get urgent because we put them off until later when they could have been done much more efficiently at the beginning. Each day they get more and more urgent, and then we find ourselves putting off other important things because the deadline is here for important things we put off in the past.

It’s time to get our priorities in an order to account for the life we want to live, while we have time to live. Just think how much easier the end of life choices will be if we are caught up on important things when we get that tragic news. Then we can take care of the most important task of all, being ready to go. All preparations made, our family taken care of, and being prepared to take that great leap. I hope, when you arrive, you can feel you have had a life well lived.

 

A final quote from Techumseh

“When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”

 

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/live-a-life-you-love-5-steps-to-set-your-priorities-straight/

 

Steve Jobs in Wikipedia

 

https://www.apple.com/stevejobs/

 

 

------------------------------

 

My wife Dee and I have a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com. 

-----------------------------

 

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Steven Hawking & Yo-Yo Ma -DOTM039

My wife Dee and I have a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com. 

 

Stephen Hawking, Celebrated Physicist

 

“In my school, the brightest boys did math and physics, the less bright did physics and chemistry, and the least bright did biology. I wanted to do math and physics, but my father made me do chemistry because he thought there would be no jobs for mathematicians.”

 

We have only their best interests in mind. We feed and clothe them, help to heal them when they get hurt, correct them when they stray from the moral code, and try our best to set them on the right path to respectable independence. But sometimes, we make mistakes. In this case, Stephen Hawking's father was mistaken about something. 

 

We as parents set the framework for a successful life for our children, but we make one of our biggest mistakes when we attempt to choose for them what they allowed to be interested in for a vocation. 

 

When I was young the worst nightmare for a parent was to be told that their son or daughter wanted to join a rock band and go on the road. After the 60’s Mom and Dad had all the pictures they needed for where that would lead. Stories of the wild life and early deaths of the famous were enough to scare any parent into locking up their kids until they escaped or reached age 30. 

 

While many parents are just attempting to mold their child into what they wished they had become, most are just trying to avoid really bad things happening to their offspring.

 

My parents had an interesting approach to this problem. There were 5 boys in the family and no girls. We were interested in music early. Instead of this being a red flag and scaring them half to death, they allowed us to do music by funneling it through the church we attended. For 20 years we sang and traveled in our area and surrounding states. When we reached our teens, and began to want to take our music to the next level, they encouraged us to do so, and supported our efforts.

 

Instead of music being a menace to us, we were guided and allowed to flourish. In fact, we were so busy and having so much fun with our work as church musicians and traveling with our family group that we didn’t have time to get into any of the scary to parents things that were normally associated with bands.

 

You knew there was a moral to the story, and here it is: Guide your children in all the good things they need, to be honest and industrious and willing to help others. The other thing to do is to watch and find out what THEY are clearly interested in. Encourage them to develop their talents and funnel them into productive paths instead of tying them down to only what the previous generation thought was the only vocations that were respectable. 

 

If you hold them in bondage to your own ambitions, you may just lose them when they finally break free. The will do what they always wanted to do anyway, and will be poorly prepared for the pitfalls along the way. You will then spend the rest of your life wondering how much of the trouble they get into is your fault.

 

Anne Frank

 

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

 

 

Steven Hawking's Web Site

 

Steven Hawking on Wikipedia

 

Steven Hawking on Facebook

 

 

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Yo-Yo Ma, Famous Cellist

 

“Practicing is not only playing your instrument, either by yourself or rehearsing with others - it also includes imagining yourself practicing. Your brain forms the same neural connections and muscle memory whether you are imagining the task or actually doing it.”

 

I am not a golfer. I know many of you just lost  a lot of respect for me with that admission, but it’s the truth. I have only played golf a couple times while on vacation with friends, and had a great time because of who I was with, but not necessarily because I got a good score.

 

Before going on vacation, I got my hands on some golf magazines and even borrowed a book from someone I worked with and studied them to see what I was going to need to do. I never practiced golf physically at all before we went, and all I had was my mental preparation. Just before each round, we got a bucket at the driving range and I asked some questions from my more experienced friends and got a reasonable swing, but with only moderate distance.

 

Many golf courses in our area have some really interesting terrain due the the mountainous nature of our state. There was one particular hole I heard about long before we got there and was intimidated even more when we arrived. The dreaded hole #8. 

 

This hole wasn’t extremely long, but had a huge ravine sloping from right to left. It was level with the hole at the top, but was about 50 feet down in a steady slope. If you didn’t make it to the green, you had to take your second shot from 50 feet below grade no matter what you did.

 

Watching my friends plan their second shot before taking their first one, I made the same mistake, and was down for the count the first time. The next day was different. Knowing what was coming, I did some mental preparation and all day long envisioned a flat surface all the way across from the tee to the hole. I took my swing like the book said and didn’t realize how well it was going until all my friends started yelling.

 

I looked up in time to see the ball hit the green and head straight for the hole. It bobbled around the hole and stopped 18 inches on the other side. A simple putt and I birdied the hole.

 

For a person who had never golfed before this is an incredible shot. I didn’t do nearly so well on the other holes but I didn’t do the same mental preparation for them. There is nothing mystical or supernatural about this concept. Mental practice and preparation makes your mind much more ready for a challenge and banishes the fear you would normally feel. That fear hurts your performance more than you can know.

 

There is an excellent article at LifeHacker.com called “A Better Way To Practice. Check it out. A link will included in the show notes for Episode 39.

 

http://lifehacker.com/5939374/a-better-way-to-practice

 

Yo-Yo Ma's Web Site

 

Yo-Yo Ma in Wikipedia

 

Yo-Yo Ma on Facebook

 

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Judy Garland & Rosa Parks -DOTM038

Judy Garland, Actress

“Be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”
When a critic reviews a new actor in a smash hit movie, and they wonder where this person has been for all this time without being discovered, many times they say he was almost as good as John Wayne, or one of the other famous actors.
It is quite well known that you can never out John Wayne John Wayne. Attempting to honor the legacy and learn from it is great, but to actually try to duplicate the original is a losing proposition. You are much better off being yourself and starting a new legacy of your own.
Some of us are doomed to follow the legacy of a parent who is known for some great qualities, or a sibling who played amazing football 2 years before we got there, and everyone is expecting you not to measure up. Oh, that is except the coach. The coach is actually PRAYING you will be as good at football.
This begs the question, do you want that shadow looming over you? Maybe a better question would be, Do you really want to play football? There is nothing worse than attempting to excel at something you are not really interested in just to please others. On the other hand, if you really love football, and want to play, use that high standard as a goal to achieve. Even if you don’t get the same stellar stats as your famous sibling, being a simply great football player is well, great!
There is also a chance that if you don’t let the pressure get to you, your tenacity could spur you on to exceed even the lofty accomplishments of that revered saint of a sibling you have to follow. If you really want it, and believe you can, go for it!
Be who you really are, regardless of pressure from others to be identical to those around you. Don’t be someone else, simply be the best you -you can be.

A quote from actor Jackie Chan
“I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I just wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.”

Just like there can never be another Judy Garland, John Wayne, Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan, there can never be another you, either. One of these days, if you do your best, there will be someone else looking up to you and trying to measure up. Do them a favor and create a high standard for their goals. If this process continues, each generation could produce better and better heroes than the preceding ones. You are the next step in that process. Don’t let your great grandchildren down.

Judy Garland on Wikipedia

Judy Garland on the International Movie Database

The Judy Garland Museum



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Rosa Parks, Civil Rights Hero
“ I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done diminishes fear.”
Indecision paralyzes you. Period. Yes, there is a time to do the research to give yourself the tools to make the best decision, but when the time comes to act, it is REALLY, simply time to act. The research should give you the courage to work past your fear and just go.
I will admit that I love doing research. If I have feared something, learning the ins and outs of the situation in advance gives me comfort that I am doing the right thing. That being said, I have been paralyzed before in the research process, and have been frozen in fear.
When you are frozen with the fear of indecision, two things happen. First and foremost, NOTHING happens. You are simply just standing there. No progress, no new knowledge is gained, nobody around you gets help from you for their own journey. Simply put, when you are not progressing, you are not worth much to yourself or others.
Secondly, you are standing stationary while amazing opportunities are passing by. You aren’t even reaching out for them, you are just stuck in place wishing one of them would intersect with you so you wouldn’t have to make any decision.
In earlier episodes of Daggers Of The Mind, I have mentioned people who say, “If someone would just give me a chance.” instead of making it happen. These people are not wanting to make the choices necessary to progress. They want others to do it for them. This illustrates some real weakness of character, and it is likely that the daily opportunities going by at high speed are not going to slow down long enough for them to hitch a ride on the bus. Hitching a ride would actually require them to make the decision that this was the right opportunity. Simply hanging around and waiting is not good research to let preparation meet opportunity. Again, when the chance shows up, indecision rules, and the chance is squandered. No bus ride for you.
Another thing that could go wrong is if something looks too good to be true it probably is. People who live in constant fear of making choices usually jump at these. It makes them feel good to finally make that choice, because it looks so good. With no preparation or care, they see an amazing, limited time only, get rich quick and be beautiful for the rest of your days offer, and they jump. This was that chance they have been waiting for to simply happen to them all this time. I have said before that ANYTHING that looks too good to be true, most often is. In this case, the decision should be a firm “no!”. Indecisive people are pretty gullible. Don’t let some shyster make this decision for you.
Learn to research while there is time and then make timely decisions at the right moment. Don’t be afraid to simply LIVE.

 A final quote.
“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” – Caroline Myss. (mace)

Rosa Parks in Wikipedia

Rosa Parks Interview at Achievement.org
Rosa Parks at History.com


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On June 20th, 2015. My wife Dee and I are launching a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com.



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