Joycelyn Elders & Martin Yan -DOTM014

The first quote was contributed by my brother, Darrell Holbrook.

Joycelyn Elders, president Clinton’s surgeon general.

"…most of the people that die with heart disease and cancer are our elderly population, you know, and we all will probably die with something sooner or later."

Most of us hope to die later rather than sooner. The idea of a “full life” is quite appealing. It seems that there is much less sympathy for an elderly person dying as opposed to a child or anyone short of 40.

Granted, many older people who are in the throes of diseases such as heart disease and cancer will tell you they are ready to die and wonder why they are allowed to drag on and on.

Tell me, at what age is it categorically expected that you have lived long enough and your passing is not as important as someone younger? Many people would choose the biblical estimate of “3 score and ten” or 70 years.

My father is 80 years old. He is in great health and takes a long exercise walk every day. He has been happily married to my mother for well over 50 years and has many things to look forward to.

Does his 80 years mean that it is more fitting for him to pass on than the average 20 year old? As a son who loves him and my mother both, it is easy to say no to this, but a yes may easily come from someone who doesn’t know him or the amazingly influential life he has lived.

The aforementioned 20 year old could be a rapist or murderer. Or a minister, or a person who may have been president. What if they were doing something truly stupid that led directly to their death and maybe one or two others in the bargain?

All this being said, what right do we have to decide who actually “deserves” to live and die?
We really don’t mean to be cruel, but it is so easy with strangers to draw generalities and give the thumbs up or down, like in the Roman games.

Human life at any stage is sacred. Old or young, we all want to live, and have a primeval imperative to want life to continue.

There is also the issue of what a person could accomplish if they did live. Whatever your feeling on abortion, a cartoon I saw can offer food for thought. It had a man shaking his fist toward heaven, yelling, “….and why haven’t you sent us a cure for cancer?” Then a voice came out of the cloud that said, “I did, but you aborted it.”

Human potential is amazing at all ages. Let’s all work together to maximize it, no matter how old or young a package it comes in.

http://www.notablebiographies.com/Du-Fi/Elders-Joycelyn.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joycelyn_Elders

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Martin Yan

“So when I do Chinese cooking, I mix everything together, then the kids have to eat their vegetables. They won't have the patience to pick them out.”

What method do you use when someone really needs to do something for their own good, but need convincing of the importance of it?

Most egotistical persons immediately go right to the nuclear option, the direct order. If you move in hard and fast, they will so shocked they will obey out of habit and fear. Sometimes this will get the job done at this moment, but does little to foster a good relationship and does absolutely nothing to change the habits of those you are lording over. They will just wait for the next order before they move again, since you have taken the place of their conscience and have taken from them the responsibility of correct behavior.

There is another way, a better way I think. What if you can make them WANT to do this? It is much more simple than you think. If you pay a little bit of attention to human behavior and adapt your tactics, you can have large scale success that will help those you are in charge of learn and repeat good habits. That way you can be confident they are behaving correctly when your back is turned.

Dale Carnegie published a book in 1936 called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. It has sold 15 million copies worldwide, and is still in print. From Wikipedia, here are the main points that pertain to our current discussion:

Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise every improvement.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

Links to the Wikipedia article and the book in Amazon.com with be included in the show notes at daggersofthemind.com

If you order an action, you may force them to do it right now, but you create a dependence on your authority for action of any kind. If you can create the desire to perform, you change their habits for a lifetime.

Yan Can Cook Website

How to Win Friends and Influence People on Wikipedia

How Win Friends Influence People on Amazon

 

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Liberace & Nathan Fillion -DOTM013

Liberace

When the reviews are bad I tell my staff that they can join me as I cry all the way to the bank.

 

Have you ever been talked about negatively when you did the right thing? Especially when you did it well? While bad reviews from others can be for poor performance, many times it is the jealousy of the reviewer that is talking.

 Take a look first at the reason for what is being said. What is their motive? Even those who have no inclination to compete with you may have a selfish reason they want you to fail. 

Ann Patchett

Praise and criticism seem to me to operate exactly on the same level. If you get a great review, it's really thrilling for about ten minutes. If you get a bad review, it's really crushing for ten minutes. Either way, you go on.

 How do you react to criticism? Is it so devastating you mope around for weeks? It’s not possible everyone will like everything you do all the time. Even you won’t like everything you do, that is, if you are honest with yourself. Take the line that even mean spirited criticisms may have some grain of truth that you can learn a lesson from. Don’t let it wound you so deeply you retreat inside and stop doing the things you do best.

You are better than you think you are. You are a certainly better than grouchy people say you are. I suspect that, deep inside, those grouchy people are a little bit jealous of you! Be successful anyway, and take it to the bank!

 The Liberace Foundation for the Creative & Performing Arts

 

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Nathan Fillion

I still buy actual books. The smell, having it in your hands - there's really no substitute.

 

Before I found this quote, I thought I was the only one in the world who made a big deal about how an old book smells. I do collect older hardback books, mostly history, biographies and some sci-fi and historical fiction. I also like books on old style crafts and ways of living.

Sure, I have a Kindle. I read books and listen to podcasts on it. Really cool and convenient, and I love it. Why then should I even waste the time and effort on real books when I can store hundreds of books on one device the size of one paperback book?

I have two basic reasons to keep old fashioned books around, (besides the smell).

The first is because the power can go off. If you have a power outage, there is no TV, Internet, video games and sometimes even phone service can be down. We have short power outages several times a year where I live, but what would happen if a 9/11 style terrorist attack happened? If several of the power plants were targeted simultaneously, the entire grid could be down for weeks. Books would come in handy for entertainment, and now we get to the reason why some of those old time lifestyle skills might eventually come in handy.

The last generation that knows about these things is rapidly passing away, and our generation’s reliance on electronics alone could place us in an awkward position in the event of a major emergency.

Now, I can hear some of you saying this could never happen. I must be one of those wild-eyed preppers or something. Actually there is a major difference in stockpiling massive amounts of food, water and other supplies, and then just keeping a few cool and decorative books around that make you look rather smart when your friends see them. The electronics we rely on everyday are great, but could be completely unavailable in the blink of an eye. Think about it.

 

Reason 2. I like eye witness accounts to history in hardback because real books are static. They can’t be changed on the whim of political or religious authorities who suddenly don’t want common citizens to have the information contained therein. This has happened many times down through history, even in so-called free societies. Look up McCarthyism to see what happened in America as recently as the 1950s. At that time the U.S. State Department ordered its overseas library program to remove from their shelves “material by any controversial persons, communists, fellow travelers, etc.” ‘Fellow travelers’ was a term used for those who weren’t actually members of the Communist party, but were considered by the government to be in sympathy with them. That casts a pretty wide net. Some of these books were actually burned, just like in the good old days.

Hopefully it will never get this bad again, but you can never tell.

Oh, by the way, its possible for one to write a book, sell it in the Kindle store, and revise the book as many times as I want, updating the thousands of Kindles in use each time. I remember once Amazon sucking out a few books I had in my Kindle and my library, giving me a refund, but still taking the books without my consent. Kind of feels like we aren’t in control of what we are reading anymore, doesn’t it? 

I fear this could be used by our government as soon as they decide to strong-arm Amazon, the same way they did Microsoft and Facebook to get our personal information. Telling people how they should live is what governments do. Just like backing up your electronic media on your computer, a hard copy backup in book form is a good idea.

Looking intelligent to your friends can’t hurt either. 

 

Nathan Fillion on Twitter

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Alyssa Milano & John F. Kennedy -DOTM012

Alyssa Milano

I'm a big believer in individual responsibility.

 

In movies, there has always been the Sigmund Freud type of psychiatrist who automatically tells his patient, “blame your mother”. It doesn’t matter what the problem is, that is always the comical solution. “It’s not my fault” seems to be on everyone’s lips these days.

 It is obvious that most of the way we live our lives is based on how we were raised, and this can include a phobia or two that we have picked up and made pets of. Once you are an adult however, your choices, good, bad or ugly are your own.

Children who are learning how to relate to the world, start as totally selfish persons who seek only to satisfy their own needs as babies. The whole point of your growing up process is to learn that you are not the center of the universe. You must learn to take responsibility for your own actions. Simply put, if you break it, fix it or pay for it.

 Today, the normal path is not quite so clear. A fixed moral code is quite uncommon today. Like a surfer reading a wave, situation ethics makes it possible for people to decide whether honesty is the best policy differently depending on their feelings about the current situation. 

 I remember an incident where a person I knew to be scrupulously honest did something wrong in my presence and when they were about to get in trouble for it, they lied and afterward explained to me that they would not allow that boss who was quite power hungry and dishonest himself, to gain power over them in this way.

I was quite shocked that absolute honesty did not survive that little test.

 Some people find lying so easy it has become part of their normal code. Anytime the slightest shadow is cast on them, not even real trouble, the lie is drawn like a gun and fired. The worst of these folks will lie simply to make themselves look better at someone else’s expense. This disparages that other person’s reputation, but the liar goes about his merry way without a second thought. Not a friend I want to spend time with.

 As a personal policy, we should really be honest and ethical at all times, then the perceived need to lie about these things won’t come up in the first place.

 Who you really are comes out in the actions you take. Since integrity is so variable these days, the things people do are the real indicators of the moral stand they have. While none of us can look absolutely moral to everyone based on the differing standards all have, we should strive to keep as close as we can to spotless integrity.

 Another quote:

 One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Offical Alyssa Milano Site

 

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John F. Kennedy

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

 

Hey, what kind of chores do you have planned for today? Are they pretty urgent? While things can occur suddenly and need immediate attention, most often, urgency is created by our own procrastination.

I will be the first to admit that my procrastination on household repairs has been elevated to an art form. My wife will be the second. I must take moment to point out that she is also the most tolerant of wives with the “honey do” list of things that need doing around our home.

Usually things start out being important, but not overtly so. You can adapt to the situation, and soon you are used to it and don’t give it much thought. Later, because of your lack of attention, it gets much more urgent, and the repair is harder to deal with in terms of both time and money.

Urgency has little to do with what needs to be done, it is just that you have an emergency of your own making.

Allowing things to become urgent automatically means you have to put off the really important things, upping the urgency level on those in turn. 

How would it change your life if you started to work on the important things early, and didn’t allow the panic of urgency to occur at all? If we all did this, high blood pressure and ulcers would probably be on the decline and less stress would rule the day.

Most of the good, bad, and ugly that happens in our lives is based on our own choices. We are encouraged by society to blame others, but take a good look in the mirror before you take the urgency panic on the road. Chances are that person looking back at you procrastinated to create the situation. It’s time to own up to it, and get some of those truly important things taken care of in your life. 

When urgency can‘t be avoided through no fault of your own, a little of the Lamaze breathing normally reserved for childbirth certainly can’t hurt!

 

The John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum

 

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Angela Davis & Gloria Estefan -DOTM011

This first quote was submitted by Scotty Rose who has been sharing Daggers Of The Mind on Facebook. Thanks so much, Scotty!

Angela Davis

Biography.com lists her as an Academic, Women’s Rights Activist, Scholar, and Civil Rights Activist. Her quote:

“We have to talk about liberating minds as well as liberating society.”

From Dictionary.com the definition of
Liberate- to set free, as from imprisonment or bondage.
 

Angela Davis has spent her life advocating changes in our society. Over the decades we have seen massive shifts in our culture, and every person you talk to would have their own opinions about how good or bad these changes are.

Isn’t that as it should be? We know how society has been evolving, but how do you liberate a mind?

Most of us, being quite human, will define a liberated mind as one who has been purged of all the things we each think are incorrect or wrong. That’s not liberation, that is mere conformity.

Conformity is what we’ve taught since childhood. That is the magic way we get along and prosper in this society. Follow the rules and everything will be happy and bright. No rebellion, no dissent, nobody ever makes waves and life is so well regulated and controlled. Ahhhh!

But wait, who is going to decide what “normal” is? The government? The church? Atheists? Democrats? Republicans? Libertarians? Hey, while we are at it, let the Anarchists have a shot at it! Well, so much for letting any one group decide what standard we should conform to.

We obviously need the rule of law, since many human beings like to do various shades of bad things to each other, and law is needed to keep this in check. Law in this country slowly evolves as the society makes new decisions about what is right and what is wrong.

If you are going to live with other humans, then some conformity is necessary, but in this environment, how can we free our minds? I submit, that it is only by our own choice.

That comes back to the programming we received growing up. There were a lot of wonderful lessons, and yes, prejudices learned as we were being raised. Most of who we are is tied into the combination of our personality and the environmental forces we adapted to as children.

Have you adapted so well to your teaching that you have become a robot, or have you actually evaluated your beliefs and motivations, freeing your mind to analyze and make value judgments on your own terms?

Now don’t try to discard everything. I would say that most of what you learned is quite wholesome and gives you a good foundation for a great life. But let’s revisit the aforementioned prejudices.

Dictionary.com again: Prejudice is defined as: “an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.”

It’s time to do an evaluation of the preconceived notions we bring to the table in our life choices. Spend a little time to ponder how right or wrong your little prejudices are, and you will be liberating your mind, one fallacy at a time.

This sounds quite revolutionary, but as an adult, it’s about time you began to think for yourself.

Angela Davis page on Facebook

Biography.com on Angela Davis

Dictionary.com

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Gloria Estefan

“I think we should all live the moment. But you also have to think ahead. You have to think, 'Am I going to be happy with this five, ten years from now? Is it going to let me evolve and grow, or am I going to grow to one day wish I had never done it?' Sometimes you just have to think a little bit ahead.”

Do you know anyone who blazes through life like a “bull in a china shop”? They constantly bump into things, breaking objects and relationships with equal ease.
We generally feel these people take absolutely no thought about the next minute, much less next week. Action, collision, action, more collision, etc.

How about you? Have you given any thought to the consequences of actions you have taken today?

We were taught in school that “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. This is illustrated well on a pool table. When one ball hits another, it translates the force to the next ball. The more force transferred, the less the original ball continues to move.

Every action you take, large or small, creates ripples in your world. These ripples affect people and objects around you. Even if you don’t make physical contact with a person, just seeing you from a distance causes a reaction in them.

A good friend of mine, Jan, once said how important it was to take a “gentle path” through life, Nurturing others instead of getting in their way. If a friend has a beautiful flower bed, do you drag your feet through it, tearing up the plants, or take the less direct route up the sidewalk in respect of their beautiful accomplishment?

Think before you act. Then think again. Don’t be oblivious to the ripples you are causing in the lives of others. Make this type of thinking a habit by practicing it every day.

Henry David Thoreau said:
To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

Gloria Estefan Official Fan Site

Gloria Estefan on Facebook
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I would like to give a special thank you to Elsie Escobar on The Feed. The official Libsyn Podcast. In episode 33, she played a demo for Daggers Of The Mind on her podcast. Thanks for the plug, Elsie!

I would also like a give a big shout out to the band Portal who composed, performed and recorded all the amazing music you hear on this show.

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Paul Stanley & Dave Jackson -DOTM010

This first quote was submitted by Paul Wolford. Check out the book he wrote with Scott Edwards called “The Slayer of Saints”.

Paul Stanley, front man for the band KISS. His comment is about the restrictions placed on their lives by superstardom.

“I don’t think it was my nature or any of ours to start complaining about something like that. That’s like winning the lottery and then complaining about the taxes. Or becoming president and saying I don’t like wearing a tie. Well, if you are lucky enough to get what you wanted, shut up!”

Why do we complain so much? If things are bad, we complain, if things are good, we complain. If things are really great, and we have achieved that amazing thing we always wanted, we actually HUNT for a reason to complain.

There could be a variety of reasons, but I can think of two right off. We want sympathy, or want to outdo someone else’s complaint, thus winning a small victory for the day.

Sympathy is something we actually CRAVE sometimes. We appreciate it when others recognize our situation, but many times we complain to put ourselves out there and in the way of our friends or even strangers just to get some little bit of regard.

It feels like a cat that lays down in your path so you will either pet her or stumble over her. Or the dog who catches you reading and pushes his head into your hand so you will stop what you are doing and lavish attention on him. I won’t begin to talk about how toddlers behave when mother starts talking on the phone.

Begging for sympathy is basically asking others to pity you. Do you want to be considered by others to be pitiful? The weakness of character exhibited doesn’t lend itself to others wanting to spend time with you. Once you are labeled a whiner, people choose to go the other way when they see you coming. They have enough burdens of their own, and don’t need yours added to the pile.

Before complaining for sympathy, ask yourself, “Is the thing you want to whine about a problem that needs solved, or are you just trying to get pitied and petted like the aforementioned dog? Anything you are not willing to take action to change is not something you should waste your own time, and especially others time with. It’s pretty unproductive, and showcases just how pitiful you are.
Next comes the “My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad” syndrome. Some people have a deep psychological need to dominate those around them. This usually comes from a lack of confidence and a desire to constantly prove to themselves they are worth something. Instead of making themselves better however, they try to put down anyone they encounter.

No one wants to be victimized by this type of dominator. If whiners are avoided as inconvenient time wasters, the dominators are the ones you may actually hide from. One way to avoid being drawn into a contest with a dominator is to avoid whining yourself. Don’t give them any ground to start their comparison games. If they attempt to goad you into a conversation by a direct challenge, refuse to take the bait. They need self validation so much they will move to an easier target.

Monica Johnson said:
“Many of our choices have led to the predicaments we are presently complaining about.”

I imagine at least 80% of the things we may want to complain about are based on the choices we have made anyway. Instead of complaining, get constructive and try to actually fix those unforeseen consequences of your actions. Of course, a little preplanning can go a long way toward avoiding bad outcomes in the first place.

Benjamin Franklin:
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain- and most fools do.

 

Paul Stanley on Facebook

 

The Slayer Of Saints- By Paul Wolford & Scott Edwards

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Dave Jackson, Host, The School of Podcasting. One of the original podcasters. Recently named Podcasting Director of the New Media Expo conference. This quote is from episode #427 of the Morning Announcements show.

“A cupcake without icing is a really bland muffin!”

Cupcakes rock! If you are going through your day at work, and someone suddenly offers you a cupcake, it is like a short vacation in the middle of your day. A little treat like this can be wonderful, and allows you to relax a minute and refocus before you move on.

But what is it that makes a cupcake so wonderful? The ICING of course! Without the icing, a cupcake can be quite dry, and you’d better make sure you have something to drink, because you WILL need to wash it down.

Life can be just like a cupcake, the majority of it is the things that NEED to be done, like your job, paying the bills, and chores around the house. Sound like a bland muffin to me.

Does your life have any icing? What makes you stop, refresh and refocus? How about relationships?

Relationships make our lives worth living. Your family and friends are an amazing support system for when those bland “muffin moments” start to weigh heavy on your mind and soul. One of the simple pleasures of life is sitting down and just talking to a close friend. They understand how you are feeling, and you provide the same support for them. Sometimes it is not even necessary for words, just being there for you is enough.

When my father-in-law was ill and coming to the end of his life, he had an old friend who was still mobile, and would come to visit him about once a week. The delight of both men to see each other was quite evident, but after the initial greetings and small talk, they would lapse into silence. For more than an hour sometimes, there would be no words spoken at all, and they would just sit there smiling and looking around. Finally, the visitor would stand and take his leave, my father-in-law thanking him profusely for visiting and saying how much he enjoyed the talk.

It was a real lesson about what a true friend really is. The man came and did what was needed and appreciated, nothing more, nothing less, because he understood exactly what was needed to cheer up and comfort his friend.

A quote from Jim Morrison, of the group The Doors:

"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is."

How do we cultivate such a circle of friends? If you want more icing in your life, start spreading icing in the lives of others. Be that understanding friend, and your life will stop being so bland.

Proverbs 18:24
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

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Marlee Matlin & Michael Jordan

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Marlee Matlin


She came to prominence in 1986 as the deaf leading lady in the movie “Children of a Lesser God”. Her Quote:


“Silence is the last thing the world will ever hear from me.”


From her bio in the International Movie Database. IMDB.com
Marlee Beth Matlin was born to Don and Libby Matlin; she was their third child. Marlee lost much of her hearing at the age of 18 months. That didn't stop her, though, from acting in a children's theater company at age 7; she was Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz." Her deafness never held her back. As an adult she said it so eloquently: "I have always resisted putting limitations on myself, both professionally and personally."


Around 30 years ago, my employer participated in a state run program to integrate many deaf and hard of hearing people into the workplace. I can only say that this program has been an amazing success. Back then, hearing people sometimes found themselves uncomfortable associating with people who spoke a different language when they couldn’t understand or participate in the conversation.


Yes, I did say different language. American Sign Language or ASL is not just a translation of English. It has its own rich culture, each word describing an object or concept, just like any form of verbal communication. Facial expressions are very important,and there are dialects, accents, and slang that is different based on local traditions and practices.


When I took a beginner class back in the 80’s, I was taught to use the sign for “home” when I was going home. Locally, our deaf community says basically, “I’m going to the house”.


This being said, I really believe that ASL is one of the most elegant and beautiful languages in the world. The emotions expressed and received makes it quite intuitive even to those who can’t sign a single letter. Learning is so much easier as well since each sign in form describes the word or concept, many times creating a picture of it.


Another dimension of the beauty is expressed when ASL is used for art purposes by signing to music, interpreting the words and emotions of the piece. It has a similar feel to expressive, interpretive dance, and can easily move you to tears.


In high school, my daughter Ecil performed an emotional sign language translation of Flyleaf’s “All Around Me”. While most people think of signed songs as being slow, flowing, and quiet, this song has energy throughout, and on the bridge has a rapid fire, almost violent emotional outburst that opened the eyes of many to new possibilities of using language as art.


The friendships I have in the local deaf community are valued for exactly that. These are my friends. While I am by no means fluent in ASL, my friends have accepted my handicap and help me to learn more with every conversation. I could only wish that hearing people would be so tolerant and forgiving of my mistakes.


Another of the wonderful things is attempting to master humor. I find it quite rewarding when I give a quick sign accompanied by the proper nuance of facial expression and am rewarded with a literal laugh out loud by one of my deaf friends.


The integration in our workplace is complete. I realized this was the case when I began to see hearing people signing to each other across the noisy workroom floor. The deaf and hearing employees socialize outside of work as well, and everyone is enriched as a result.


Listen, there is a full community of wonderful people all around you that seems to be invisible to many hearing people who rush through their lives ignoring all but their own pursuits. Find them. Learn their language. I suspect you will be rewarded for these relationships even more than they will.
Links to resources to interact with the deaf and hard of hearing community will be included in the show notes for this episode.


Official Marlee Matlin Website


http://www.marleematlinsite.com/


http://www.deaflibrary.org/


http://www.deafwebsites.com/


National Association of the Deaf


http://nad.org/


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Michael Jordan


“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”


Entrepreneurs seem to have a common theme in their promotional literature, videos and at the ever present conventions. There is an enthusiasm that takes outside people by surprise. When you cut through the exuberance, the basic message is this:  If you believe you can do it, you can.


A lot of fun has been made of this concept, even to the point of movies bringing it up. In the Film “The American President” when he observed the wild excitement at his opponent’s political rally, Michael Douglas quips that he thought they were “getting ready to buy some Amway products.”


Let’s look at this concept a little closer. It is not a magic incantation that easily makes everything appear just because you believe it will. There is one valid point, however that must be considered. If you don’t think you can, you will not try.


Why waste your valuable time on fruitless pursuits? There aren’t many who will put time, effort and precious resources into lost causes. Alternatively, many so called “lost causes” are not actually “lost” but are merely difficult. Since we can’t see the possibilities we never start the projects in the first place. People who think like this will never know the rewards possible when you systematically tackle the jobs thought impossible. If you aim at nothing, you will most likely hit it.


A quote from a man who knew all about failure:
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”  Thomas Edison


There’s a reason the symbol of the big idea is a light bulb. It was invented after thousands failures.


We’ll finish with another Edison quote:
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”


http://basketball.wikia.com/wiki/Michael_Jordan


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Jack Nicholson & Taylor Swift

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Jack Nicholson


“I love discourse. I'm dying to have my mind changed. I'm probably the only liberal who read Treason, by Ann Coulter. I want to know, you understand? I like listening to everybody. This to me is the elixir of life.”


How much do you enjoy a disagreement? I’ll admit, it’s not my first choice for the way to spend an afternoon. An argument can raise blood pressure and cause the loss of lifelong friends. Not very funny.


Have you ever wondered why some people always seem to end up arguing? I really believe the number one reason is fear.


The fearful person is the one who attempts to shout you down instead of letting you get a word out, even after you were courteous enough to listen to their views. This person is so afraid of contamination from another idea, that even allowing it to be expressed will taint them with an element of doubt that could alter their life forever. Scary!


This is no more true than when discussing religious or political issues. The beliefs of  religion and politics are ingrained in us from birth many times, and we are fearful to hear opposition because it could change the fundamental structure of life we have come to know. Our foundations have been resting on this information for all our lives, and any change could make the whole structure unstable, leaving us adrift with no anchor in the sea of ideas.


Allow me to look at this from another angle. If all we do is accept the ideas our parents have given us to believe, are they really our own ideas at all? I am not advocating discarding everything Mom and Dad ever said, but the only way to ever know what YOU really believe is to have your preconceived notions tested in the crucible of opposition.


Now you don’t have to go and debate it all the time with every person you know who was given a different set of values. Here are the basic steps to solidify your own beliefs:


1.Get over your fear of listening to ALL ideas. Everyone has an honest reason for what you consider heresy. Overcome your fear of contamination. Just close your mouth and listen.


2.Honestly evaluate other points of view. If you are totally convinced of the rightness your position, there should be no problem evaluating the enemy’s idea without that sense of panic you are accustomed to.


3. If you find your ideas can’t stand up, do what scientists do: gather more data for both your position and the other view to test them further.


4. If you come to the inescapable conclusion that some alteration of your original dogma needs to be effected, DO IT and move on!


None of us are perfect. We all need adjustment. If you can do this self evaluation within your own mind without huge arguments, my hat is off to you. Just be honest with yourself.


One final thought from Senator Edward Kennedy:
“The Constitution does not just protect those whose views we share; it also protects those with whose views we disagree.”

The Unofficial Jack Nicholson Website
http://www.jack-nicholson.info/

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Taylor Swift


“There is a strength in letting bygones be bygones.”


Anybody can hold a grudge. It is a very simple and lazy thing to do. On the other hand, It takes enormous strength to let go of ego and pride to forgive someone who has truly wronged you.
The smallest child can throw a tantrum when they don’t get their way. Sometimes a sibling or friend will do something wrong, and let you take the fall for it.


Many feel that a long term grudge and vendetta to get even is not only reasonable in cases like this, but it is required to make sure a message is sent to the world that you are not one to be trifled with. This is the same kind of message like putting the head of a criminal on a pike outside a medieval castle.


Sure, kings threw tantrums too. They had tremendous power and controlled armies to punish those who offended them. The general attitude is that such kings and the similarly behaving toddlers need to learn to forgive and not create such a scene. We like to put ourselves on a pedestal, thinking we are better.


But are we? Are we forgiving others for the slights we suffer from them? Probably nine times out of ten the imagined slight was completely unnoticed by the offender. We are quick to attribute malicious intent to them when they ran over you, not thinking of you at all, and not realizing you had been affected.


The old saying comes to mind, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” It is very easy to give offence to others, but your character really shows when you can, as Ms. Swift says, “let bygones be bygones”.


Lewis B. Smedes: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”


Taylor Swift on Facebook

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My mother, June Gibson Holbrook has been tirelessly promoting my show on social media. Now that I mention it, she’s always been there for me. Thanks, Mom!!


Let us know what you think of the show.
To leave feedback, email me at feedback@daggersofthemind.com. If you would prefer to leave a voice mail, call 304-460-5760.


Also, at daggersofthemind.com you can subscribe for free using iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, and even email!

Hank Aaron & Christopher Walken

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Hank Aaron


“You can only milk a cow for so long, then you’re left holding the pail.”


What kind of plans have you made for the future? Do you expect everything to go as it always has, or do you have plans to cope with pitfalls you may eventually face?


Many things could happen to change your current status. Loss of your job, a health issue, a drastic increase in utilities, taxes or fees, or even a lawsuit or divorce can make a sudden shift in your ability to cope with your circumstances.


As Mr. Aaron put it, do you have another cow if the one you are currently milking runs dry? Having a backup cow in the barn is a really good idea.


In our last episode of Daggers Of The Mind, a quote from George Takei was featured. In his book “ To The Stars”, he said that as soon as he was earning some money acting, he began buying real estate rental properties. By its very nature, acting doesn’t always give a steady paycheck, he wanted a more stable form of income while being free to accept and turn down roles as he saw fit.


At its most basic application, your extra cow could be a savings account you slowly accumulate over time to cover emergencies, and eventually retirement. Start a steady contribution to a plan you don’t have easy access to, and then some type of savings you could access in small emergencies such as unexpected car repairs.


According to Suze Orman:


If you are worried about job security and do not have an adequate emergency fund (ideally eight months' worth of living expenses stashed away in a federally insured bank or credit union), you need to focus more on saving money than paying down the balance on your credit cards.


We could all use some adjustments to our financial lives. Make sure you have an adequate backup, but then continue to milk that cow while it is in the barn!!


Hank Aaron on Twitter

Suze Orman on Facebook

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Christopher Walken


“Words are little bombs, and they have a lot of energy inside them.”


Have you ever considered the power of your words? In centuries past the most respected people in the world were those who had the best command of language. Words can move people to love, hate, and take actions they would not have considered, such as going to war.


Superstitious people were often afraid of a witch or warlock casting a “spell” on them. Have you ever wondered why it was called a “spell”? I believe many times a person accused of being a witch was just a person who was skilled at persuasion, spelling it out so skillfully they were able to change others minds as if by magic. Fear and words of hysteria did the rest, and sometimes in extreme cases, resulted in a burning at the stake.


While we are speaking of burning, in the Bible, The book of James chapter 3 the tongue is spoken of quite fluently.


Verse 2: For in many things we offend all. If a man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
Verses 5 and 6: Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on the fire the course of nature; and is set on fire of hell.


I assure you this is not turning into a sermon, but this has to be some of the most direct words in literature of the power, for good for evil, of our words.


Our words are likened to fire. Fire is great when used properly to cook food, to make our cars run, or to save lives. Then there are forest fires. They usually start from a very small spark from a passing ATV, a forgotten camp fire, or a single match by an arsonist. One small, harsh word can create a world of hurt when it gets out of control in the rumor mill. One small, encouraging word can change the world.


What you say and how you say it, can change the course of someone’s day, and sometimes their life. Every time you speak, the person you address, and even those who overhear can’t help but be changed by it. Why not try to help those you meet instead of cursing them?


From the website SpreadKindness.org comes this quote from the Dalai Lama:
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.


SpreadKindness.org

Christopher Walken on Twitter

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Special thanks to Scotty Rose, who left some great feedback, and with Rachel Ward has been giving shoutouts on Facebook, telling others about the show! I really appreciate it!!


Let us know what you think of the podcast.


To leave feedback, email me at feedback@daggersofthemind.com. If you would prefer to leave a voice mail, call 304-460-5760.
Also, at daggersofthemind.com you can subscribe for free using iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, or even email.

Download the Episode!


Anjelica Huston


"What do I think of the Yankees? I'm sorry, I don't follow football."


Hey, when was the last time you encountered someone who didn’t share your interests? I would say there is good chance it was today. Besides being out in the real world, social media is in the home from waking to sleeping again, so even if you had the day off at home, you encountered someone who wasn’t interested in your favorite subjects.


Another question. What was your reaction to this? Some can accept this on the face value, realizing everyone is and has the right to be different in their pursuits. Others immediately jump right to ridicule, eager to prove their point of view is superior.


Dictionary.com says Ridicule is speech or action intended to cause contemptuous laughter at a person or thing, derision.


Why is ridicule so popular and so quickly used against others? I firmly believe this has more to do with the state of mind and intelligence of the ridiculer rather than the victim.


Thomas Jefferson: Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.


This seems to be the polite way of saying what Charles Simmons was much more blunt about: Ridicule is the first and last argument of a fool. I guess it’s time to ask ourselves who the real inferior fool is here.


Sports being the competition it is, certainly provides a lot of space for playfully deriding another’s team, but keep it in good fun. The ones who can suffer the most from actual derision are those like Ms Huston, who don’t have the background to know one sport from another.


Everyone you meet knows something you don’t. Don’t make fun of them. One of these days you may need some knowledge they have, and burning those bridges may not be in your eventual best interest. On the most basic level, don’t be mean to other people. Seriously, just don’t be mean.


Anjelica Huston Fan Page On Facebook


dictionary.com


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George Takei


"This is supposed to be a participatory democracy and if we're not in there participating then the people that will manipulate and exploit the system will step in there."


How have things been going for you in politics lately? Is everything just moving along the way you would like to see things going? Oh, by the way, when did you last vote? When did you last participate in the process? If things aren’t going as you would like, it’s entirely possible someone else stepped into your place when you walked away from it.


Can you trust another person to handle that detail for you? Do you even know who that person is? Complaining about political trends we don’t like is very common and actually expected, but do you have the right to do some downright griping if you haven’t even voted or tried to do something else about it?


I read a science fiction book a year or two ago that had an interesting premise. The society described only allowed those who served in the military to be citizens. Only those who by risking their lives for the country and state were really worthy to help determine its future by voting or holding office.


While I am in no way advocating this change in our society, it would be an interesting way to cure the epidemic of boredom and apathy our political system suffers from.
Here, you just kind of have it thrust on you when you turn 18, and it is not really appreciated. I found for myself, after early training in my duty to vote, I have grown cynical later in life and wonder what the use is to waste my time participating in this farce.


It’s time to revisit the issue. One of the problems is the two party system. We are given two basic choices, neither of which is acceptable. The lesser of the evils, generally the one who looks better on TV wins. It’s time to completely ignore what candidates SAY about themselves and each other, and ONLY consider the documented actions that are recorded in the record. Political advertising is just that. Advertising. It is calculated to make a sale. Don’t be so easily duped into believing the flash and hype. Do the work and check online for details about actions, not words.


We have the potential to be the most informed electorate in the history of this nation. The info is easy to obtain and we could get actual fact to make informed choices on election day.


Franklin D. Roosevelt:
Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy therefore, is education.


To conclude, allow me to make a prediction. For the first time in multiple decades we have the chance to elect a president in the United States who is not a member of either of the two main political parties.


The large pool of independent voters, the 24 hour news cycle, and the Internet make it possible for a person to get the coverage and funding they need to get elected if it is handled correctly and the direct line to the people is used effectively. I really believe we will see this happen within the next few election cycles.


George Takei's Web Site

Let us know what you think of the quotes and commentary we have in the show. Email to: feedback@daggersofthemind.com

Adam Sandler & Halle Berry

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Adam Sandler


I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, "One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech". That wasn't on my mind. I want to just do the best work I can do.

Ah, reward, what an amazing motivator. Most successful humans, being basically selfish creatures, are working toward very specific goals.


We are told that failing to have a goal in mind will paralyze our thought processes and will stymie achievement in all it’s forms. This certainly applies to your actual direction in life.


What would happen if the football team was working hard, but didn’t realize the goal was the other way? Quite counterproductive I think. If they didn’t figure it out quickly, they might find themselves not getting to play at all.


Okay then, we really do need a goal to get started in the first place, but what type of goal have you set for yourself? The rich and famous goal is probably one of the most common. All of us have those “if money were no object” dreams. These goals are “What I can gain” types of ambitions.


How about Mr. Sandler here? He has a different type of goal altogether, but seems to be just as motivated by it to achieve great success. I’ll call this “What I can be” goals. It is entirely possible to be mainly interested in the development of your character and skills, and still have the same energy and drive to continually improve. Financial and other successes will follow if you continually improve your personal skills and become the best person you can be.


The philosopher Aristotle said: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore is not an act but a habit.


Are you going to repeat your character building habits, or just repeat the constant grabbing of what money and fame you can accumulate? What will your life be remembered for?


The website allgreatquotes.com lists this as a Cherokee Saying:
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced; live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.




Adam Sandler on Twitter




http://allgreatquotes.com




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Halle Berry

"Humor is always part of the best hours in life."


Think about the good old days. Have you ever wondered why the old days always seem to be so good?


I can think of some very interesting times in our past when a lot of bad things were happening. Caring for my wife’s parents before they passed away, early financial hardships, the deaths of close friends who we felt were too young. All these are obviously bad times of life, but what do we remember most vividly?


The good times. Those memories are what we cherish about those people and good times we had doing simple, happy things while financially able to afford little else. Our memory over the years sorts out and prioritizes the good and happy hours, while pushing unpleasant things to the background. This is much more manageable and we can be happier day to day because of it.


What would happen though, if you had no happiness to apply to the process of your mind creating your “good old days” memory set? If everything you had was bad and unhappy, I suppose you would end up with the “bad old days” instead. I don’t think I would like that very well.


It appears that if we make an effort right now to spend more happy, fun times with family and friends, and extend it into the future, our “good old days” would grow into some wonderful long term memories indeed.


Another consideration is the actual, documented health benefits of humor on our everyday wellbeing. A website called holisticonline.com had a great article by Paul E. McGhee, PhD on “Humor and Health“. It explains how humor contributes to health with muscle relaxation, reduction of stress hormones, and immune system enhancement.


According to Proverbs 17:22 in the King James Version of the Bible:
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.


Fix your spirit with humor! I don’t think you want to be the one with dry bones!


Halle Berry Fan Page On Facebook


https://www.facebook.com/Halle.Berrry




Holistic Online Article


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Robin Williams & Jennifer Lawrence

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Robin Williams


"Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?"


18 years. You have just 18 years to affect and guide the life of that tiny human being you’ve been entrusted to raise. So sad that so many don’t spend much time or effort on this most sacred of trusts.


I’ve met young men before who take a savage pride in living the wild life, a narcissist who tears around the world, seeding babies at every turn. Some don’t even know of some of these offspring, where or when they might have been born.


There are few things that set a life off in the wrong direction like being forgotten in the first place. Some fathers feel just guilty enough to send money, but never give the most precious commodity of all, time.


Have you had contact with your child today? How about going all the way and telling your son or daughter how much you love them? I know about the time they reach middle school or so, the last thing your offspring can tolerate is public displays of affection from parents.


At this stage, SHOWING them you love them is much more effective. Respect their peer pressured environment and hang back until it is safe to show how much you care. Not embarrassing them in front of their friends is really appreciated more than you know. That shows your consideration for their feelings and yes, it does show love.


Don’t give them everything, but give them the tools they need to be self sufficient and they will grow up fulfilled and will be grateful for the opportunities you provide for their eventual independence. We only have those 18 years to prepare them to fly. They are going to jump out of the nest whether you prepare them or not. It’s not very funny to watch them crash and burn, all the while knowing it was your fault.


Again, it comes down mostly to time. I’ve never heard anyone say, I wish I hadn’t spent so much time with my kids, and more time working. Sure, I could have had more money to give and obtain things for my daughter, but what she values as she is finishing up college (which she paid for herself with no loans) is time with me and her mother.


She still has the same stable home to come back to and has a firm foundation to make that dramatic leap into the world, which is quite a hostile place. The reason soldiers are put through boot camp at first is to train them to meet the adversity they will meet in battle. We can also go too far in the other direction and give too much money, things and then pad the way for them so effectively they don’t learn to cope with problems. They don’t learn the skills necessary to deal with real adversity when it arrives and they are on their own.


It is a fine line to train them to be independent and still maintain a loving relationship with you. If you do this correctly, conflict will result during the teen years as they begin to test their wings and push against you, who are acting as their conscience. As soon as they are on their own, however, you will wonder when the aliens took your kid and left this model citizen in their place. All they will have to make decisions with is what you taught them. You were there. The whole time. And you raised them right.


http://www.robinwilliams.com/


https://www.facebook.com/RobinWilliams


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Jennifer Lawrence

"Things can happen to you, but they don't have to happen to your soul."


Dictionary.com defines Adversity as: Adverse fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune, calamity, or distress.


I guess I should start with the obvious. Everyone has bad things happen to them. The rich, poor, and everyone in between encounter areas of their lives that are beyond their control, and sometimes it can be really bad.


Mary Tyler Moore said, “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.”


There are two components to your average everyday calamity. The actual thing that happens to you, and then what you decide to do with it. Coping and solving problems is always best, but sometimes you just have to let it roll over you and start with the debris you have left.


Health problems are like this. A billionaire who gets a cancer diagnosis is no less scared than a poor or middle class person. While the billionaire can get better palliative care, if he or she is dying, they face the great equalizer on this earth.


How we decide to deal internally with distress is ultimately more important than the actual event itself. We all go through various stages of grief when we are faced with death, but there are some things we can do to make things easier for those we leave behind.


When you die, do you want your spouse and children to spiral down into the pits of despair, and ruin the rest of their lives over it? We all hope to be mourned and missed, but what you decide to say to them now, can make all the difference. Encourage them to love and support each other and always remember how proud you are of them and what they will accomplish.


Jennifer Lawrence mentioned that external conditions need not affect your soul as deeply. Put up a shield between your soul and adversity and don’t let it be destroyed by what happens to the outside.


In the last episode of Daggers of the Mind, William Shatner was one of the celebrities quoted. A story is told that distressful  circumstances occurred when after his fame and fortune on the original Star Trek series, he divorced and lost everything. He was reduced to living in a camper for a while.
Being nearly homeless can be quite the morale buster as you can imagine. He could have accepted permanent homelessness, but decided that wasn’t the way he wanted to live.


As we well know, Mr. Shatner didn’t quit and is quite the success. It obviously affected his circumstances, but it didn’t sink so deep as to ruin his desire to live and achieve.


Good, bad and ugly happens to all of us. Let’s keep circumstances external, and protect that soul. It’s beautiful, and it’s the only one you’ve got.


Jennifer Lawrence Fan Site
http://jennifer-lawrence.com/


dictionary.com

William Shatner & Joan Crawford

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William Shatner


"With three kids, it was always very, very tight, and it was always a scramble for what was my next job. So I learned never to go into debt because I don't want those monthly payments to preoccupy my thoughts. I never spend more than what I can afford, and I don't owe anything."


I suppose all the listeners to this show have all the money they will ever need and life is wonderfully well funded, right? Oh, I guess not. Most of us have lived all our lives from payday to payday, and have accumulated debt along the way. Paying cash for everything seems quite foreign to us, and it feels like we could never have our piece of the “American Dream” if we never accumulate any debt.


A few years ago, the American president was quoted as saying our responsibility as Americans was to use our credit cards to get the economy rolling again.
Is it even possible to have a cash based lifestyle? There are plenty of websites, such as Dave Ramsey.com who say that this is not only possible, but completely practical. Mr. Ramsey talks about becoming debt free after being initially captured in the net of debt, while Mr. Shatner wisely didn’t get snared in the first place.


Imagine where you would be now if you had never gotten into debt in the first place. We immediately think we would have absolutely nothing. I really think this is wrong. It would be an interesting exercise to get an actual accounting of how much of the income we earned actually went to interest paid to some credit card company, many times in the upper 20s in percentages. I imagine some people have paid as much as 1/10th of their income on interest alone.


Starting small and building up to a “normal” lifestyle is a very practical way to add to the happiness and eliminate a lot of worry.


Many young people today start off in the hole immediately with huge amounts of crushing college loan debt. In addition to the actual debt, the government can be counted on from time to time to change the conditions of the debt to be more favorable to itself, and more devastating to the former student.


The Bible, Proverbs 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.


Kind of scary isn’t it? We have made ourselves economic slaves by our borrowing. We find ourselves completely paralyzed by the financial bondage we have voluntarily chained ourselves with.


What can we do to reverse the cycle? First of all, we can reduce the control the lenders have over us by cutting up our credit cards, and paying them down and off over time. One way to help is to get the high interest debt consolidated onto a fixed loan with a much lower rate. This gives you a set time to be free of it, and reduces drastically how much money you waste paying it all off.


Second, don’t accumulate more debt. Even if it is a small amount each payday, start saving an emergency fund for those car repairs, etc that seem to pop up at the worst possible moment. This further reduces our reliance on expensive revolving debt.


Here’s another suggestion. What if every time you saved money by buying a used item at a yard sale instead of new, you banked the savings? My wife and I recently saved around $200 by buying a used artist’s easel for our daughter to paint with, and the chair and computer monitor I am using right now. Curiously, I have no idea what happened to the $200. It just evaporated.


Most of the time, we get a warm feeling when we save a few cents on gas, buying a sub sandwich, or using coupons at the grocery store, but if we got a cute jar to save the total of the savings, the spare change, it would soon be an amount large enough for a savings deposit in the bank. Try it and see!


While we may never achieve a 100% debt free status, we can surely make things much better by making some changes in our financial lives.


Check out Dave Ramsey.com for more info. He has a wonderful article on "The Truth About Debt Reduction". There are more sources of info, but check them out very carefully. The financial vultures are even victimizing those who want to get out of debt. If it sounds too good to be true, and too easy, it probably is.

William Shatner on Twitter


williamshatner.com


DaveRamsey.com


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Joan Crawford

"Love is fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."


Do you have love in your life? Have you experienced true love? One of the misconceptions about love today, is that most people just think that love = sex. Our media promotes this idea even in our children’s shows. While sex certainly is part of many loving relationships, let’s take a look at actual love. One time a guy asked me if he should marry a girl he had been dating for a while, and I asked him,


"If you were married for a year or so, and she had a horrible, disfiguring accident so that you could never have sex with her again for the rest of your lives, would you stay with her?”
After an initial shock, he suddenly looked quite confident and said, “Yes I would!” My reply was, “Marry her!”


Ms. Crawford was right that love and fire share many similarities. Fire behaves itself based on how we prepare for its use. We use it every day under controlled conditions to cook food, to warm our houses and even in the internal combustion engines that make our automobiles go. A good relationship has the same steady, controlled burn. The passion is measured and works effectively to make a great and warm environment for the entire family.


That same passion can flame into an amazingly destructive force when allowed to burn out of control. The much publicized divorce trials of celebrities always give an insight into how sensational selfish behavior can be. Further fuel is added to the flames by tabloids and other celebrity friends who enjoy seeing the fight, and getting their names involved for their own selfish purposes.
We all have the capacity for great love inside of us. Will your love be a force for caring and nurturing others, or will you scorch the earth around you with your selfish passion, no matter what grief you cause others?


I came across a great article on the Spirituality & Health website  regarding
“50 Loving Sentiments We Should All Say More Often” by Joyce Marter


Spirtuality and Health Article


The Best of everything. A Joan Crawford Encyclopedia
http://www.joancrawfordbest.com/

Angelina Jolie & Gene Simmons

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Angelina Jolie



"You might never find out that you are useful for all the right reasons - and not all those stupid things that people tell you you're useful for."


What are you useful for? I believe most of us haven’t really tried to find our special talents and aptitudes. Being busy with life and making a living is quite distracting. As a result, we tend to believe what others tell us, and in the end spend a large amount of time being jerked about like a puppet on strings.


Being used by others is never much fun. We seem to spend inordinate amounts of time trying to please others, and sometimes people get the impression that you are available for their convenience.
This usually starts with a compliment, telling you how good you are at something, and ending with how you need to do this thing for them. Wanting to please and be liked, we comply and find ourselves in a never ending loop of being used.


To be fair, not everyone is trying to use you, but it is imperative that we learn to detect the signs early so we won’t be taken advantage of so often. Asking one main question will help you spot the users. “What will they stand to gain if I comply with their wishes?” While it is perfectly OK to benefit others with your actions and have a giving heart, we must learn the difference in helping a friend, and being used by someone who doesn’t have any intention of giving back to you in the future.


Users never have time to give anything. It is always about what they can gain, and some just get a charge out of the actual manipulation and control of others they consider weaker than themselves. They seek control of another person for the thrill of that control.
Again the vulnerability is the basic human desire to be liked and cared for. We all like the attention we receive from others, but some of us are so desperate that we fall into every trap set for us by those who seek to manipulate.


Take charge of  your life and talents and learn when it is OK to say “No”. Just because you are able to do something, doesn’t mean you MUST do it every time you are asked. The life you have is your own choice. Do favors for those you love and for those who will actually appreciate what you do for them. In time they will reciprocate. That is the basis for a truly rewarding relationship.


Angelina Jolie Fans on Twitter
https://twitter.com/joliefans

https://twitter.com/angelinagossip

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Gene Simmons



"Everyone has SOMETHING for which everybody else will gladly shell out a ton of money...whether or not they know exactly what it is."


What is your hidden talent? Many of us seem to spend our entire lives just getting by in the rat race of life with no idea of what we would be best at.
One the things that the great and famous people of history had going for them is that they didn’t have to waste 8 to 10 hours every day just making money to survive. That left them free to be creative, and to find whatever their special talent was, and then proceed.


One way to find out your hidden talent is to ask yourself, “What am I passionate about?” This is not just something you find interesting, but that thing that other people get tired of hearing you talk about. Passion for something is what makes the difference between a hobby, and something you would love doing so much, that being paid to do it is really a sideline. You would do it for free. If you want to make a lot of money, Forget about the money, do what you are passionate about, and money and other forms of success will follow.


Our minds have been conditioned from birth to accept the status quo, and not to dream. Schools are structured to teach us how to make a living, not necessarily how to actually live. Have you ever noticed that the spectacularly successful and famous people are often the misfits who didn’t conform to the strict structure of the classroom?


Henry David Thoreau said: Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.


It is hard after years of being taught to stop daydreaming, in class, at work, church etc., to feel that is OK to set our imagination free to dream once again.


Eleanor Roosevelt: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. If these beautiful dreams come from inside us, why have we hidden our inner beauty from view?


Embrace your creativity. One final quote:
H.F. Hedge
Dreaming is an act of pure imagination, attesting in all men a creative power, which, if it were available in waking would make every man a Dante or a Shakespeare.


Gene Simmons on Twitter


genesimmons.com

Charles Shaughnessy & Flavor Flav

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Charles Shaughnessy, Actor, best known for his work in the TV shows The Nanny and General Hospital.


Personal Quote:
"Susan is my greatest inspiration. She has more integrity than anyone I know and integrity is more important than anything for a happy and successful life."


When asked for his greatest inspiration, Charles Shaughnessy pointed to his wife, Susan. How many people do you know in this day and time who would actually point to their spouse in public and say how great they are? Except as a political cause, marriage has taken quite a hit in importance over the last few decades, mainly because the divorce rate has made a mockery of it as an institution. The evidence that marriage has been so great is because most people have at least 2 or 3 of them in their lifetime.


While Mr. Shaughnessy is known in public blogging to call down death, destruction, pestilence or in the very least imprisonment on all who disagree with him politically, it is commendable that the tenderness with which he regards his marriage relationship is just as intense as his political fervor.
In addition to this, the trait he values and praises most highly in her is integrity. We are talking about truthfulness, moral and ethical principles, and honesty. He declares she has more integrity than anyone else he knows, and that integrity is the most important ingredient to insure happiness and success in this life.


Have you ever been lied to? Of course you have. Most of us have a boss who would trade our well-being for a chance to look ever so slightly better in the eyes of their superiors. Bosses by reputation rank right up there with lawyers and politicians as being the most blatant liars on the planet. How do you treat someone who is likely to lie to you? You aren’t apt to trust them often are you?


Another interesting thing is that a person can be trustworthy all their lives and then a single incident of lying at your expense is enough for you to never trust them again. On the other side, if a person is known as a chronic liar, a single selfless act of telling the truth is not enough to help that reputation. It could take years of integrity to repair. It may not be possible at all.


Profound integrity is not only praiseworthy, it is absolutely essential for personal relationships to flourish, thus Mr. Shaughnessy’s mention of happiness, and also for the success that we all seek.
Success takes many forms, but most people think of economic or financial success. How many people will continue to deal with you if you don’t live up to agreements and contracts you have entered into? Legal trouble or in the very least, loss of the business relationships leading to financial reverses can result.


These principles not only apply to the business owner, but also those of us who work for that aforementioned “demon boss”. Somehow many feel that it is OK to slack on the job or even not work at all while on the clock because the moral shortcomings of our superiors license us to not use integrity in dealing with the company that boss works for. Is it right to be dishonest just because someone, anyone else is dishonest?


In researching this topic I came across the award winning website, values.com. Check it out. They have wonderful information and quotes from many on the subject of integrity and personal honesty while dealing with all you encounter in this life.



Link to all things Charles Shaughnessy
values.com



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Flavor Flav
Formerly of Public Enemy, Reality Star known for the huge clock he wears around his neck.


Quote:
''I'm fighting to keep the success moving.''
Entertainment Weekly Article by Margeaux Watson on Aug. 4th, 2006.


Success Defined:
The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals.
Success can be defined in many ways based on what is most important to the person seeking it.  Looking at the life of Flavor Flav one sees many swings back and forth from failure, to success, back to failure, back to success, and so forth.


It is really interesting that the fame and success he seeks is clearly defined in a quote by Winston Churchill:
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.


Keeping the success moving is sage advice indeed. Don’t stop even when the barriers you encounter on the way to success are constructed by others.


David Brinkley: A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.


When you begin to achieve what you seek, many obstacles will be thrown in your way by jealous people who will not put out the same effort as yourself. Cries of, “He was just given special treatment!” “If only someone would give me a chance like he got!” These are the usual complaints by lazy people looking for a free ride through life.


Today there seems to be a nobility attributed to being lazy, and “those rich people” get blamed for it, when in reality, both those rich people and the complaining lazy people for the most part have gotten what they deserved as payment for their labor.


I truly believe that by this time in my life, I could have been quite wealthy if I had only made the sacrifices necessary to become so. I refused however to sacrifice my family in pursuit of money. The wealth I have obtained on the other hand is worth more to me than mere cash, and is a legacy I can take with me when I die.
Define success on your own terms, and never stop until you achieve it!




Link to Biography.com file on Flavor Flav
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