Carly Fiorina & Steve Jobs -DOTM040

Carly Fiorina, Former CEO, and Current Presidential Candidate

 

“I lost my job in the most public way possible, and the press had a field day with it all over the world. And guess what? I'm still here.”

 

When everything hits the fan, most people call it failure, and that is usually construed as quite the negative. Being human, this a completely natural reaction, mostly because it’s hard to feel positive when things didn’t work despite your best efforts, and you are not in control of the outcome.

How do successful people look at this type of situation? Ms. Fiorina decided to run for office. In 2010 she won the Republican nomination for the U. S. Senate in a three way race in California, but lost in the general election. Strike two. At the time of this episode, she is running for the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Whatever she ends up accomplishing she is quite driven and will continue to go for it. In this case, she will either lose in the primary, or general elections, but stands a chance of being the first woman to be president of the United States. If she didn’t run, she definitely would not have a chance. But she is, and she could be.

 

C. S.Lewis

“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.”

 

In Episode 9 of Daggers Of The Mind, Michael Jordan talks about how you have to expect something of yourself before you can do anything. Later in the same episode, Thomas Edison, one of the worlds greatest failures is quoted. He is really only known for the amazing successes he is credited for. The incandescent light bulb is probably the best known.

He failed more than a thousand times before he discovered the secret. I don’t know many people with that kind of tenacity.

When you crash and burn, put out the fire and see what is left in the debris. You will be surprised at the amazing value in what remains. You’ll find some building blocks for the next attempt, and some serious lessons learned. It’s time to get up, dust yourself off and get cracking!

 

Carly Fiorina on Wikipedia

Carly For America

Carly Fiorina On Facebook

 

 

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Steve Jobs, Legendary Apple Computer Guy

 

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

 

Impending death is certainly a sobering thought. I imagine for all of us, this would be something that would make you come up close and personal and evaluate everything you have done, and what you still have time to do.

Today would be a different day with different priorities if you knew you didn’t have long on this earth. There are lot things we find really important now that would seem quite frivolous with that hanging over you.

Now this begs to ask, Why do we wait until we are dying before we take a serious look at our priorities? Shouldn’t our agenda be similar anyway? How much do we do every day that could be discarded in favor of the truly worthy causes?

A great article on setting your priorities straight for a happier life is on tinyBuddha.com. The link will be in the show notes for episode 40.

Take a moment right now and think about this. What are you doing today that would be completely discarded if you were dying? Now it’s time to ask yourself why are you doing this in the first place. Could you think of something more important to take its position in your agenda?

A lot of the things we do in a given day are the urgent things, not what is actually important. Things that start as important get urgent because we put them off until later when they could have been done much more efficiently at the beginning. Each day they get more and more urgent, and then we find ourselves putting off other important things because the deadline is here for important things we put off in the past.

It’s time to get our priorities in an order to account for the life we want to live, while we have time to live. Just think how much easier the end of life choices will be if we are caught up on important things when we get that tragic news. Then we can take care of the most important task of all, being ready to go. All preparations made, our family taken care of, and being prepared to take that great leap. I hope, when you arrive, you can feel you have had a life well lived.

 

A final quote from Techumseh

“When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”

 

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/live-a-life-you-love-5-steps-to-set-your-priorities-straight/

 

Steve Jobs in Wikipedia

 

https://www.apple.com/stevejobs/

 

 

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My wife Dee and I have a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com. 

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Steven Hawking & Yo-Yo Ma -DOTM039

My wife Dee and I have a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com. 

 

Stephen Hawking, Celebrated Physicist

 

“In my school, the brightest boys did math and physics, the less bright did physics and chemistry, and the least bright did biology. I wanted to do math and physics, but my father made me do chemistry because he thought there would be no jobs for mathematicians.”

 

We have only their best interests in mind. We feed and clothe them, help to heal them when they get hurt, correct them when they stray from the moral code, and try our best to set them on the right path to respectable independence. But sometimes, we make mistakes. In this case, Stephen Hawking's father was mistaken about something. 

 

We as parents set the framework for a successful life for our children, but we make one of our biggest mistakes when we attempt to choose for them what they allowed to be interested in for a vocation. 

 

When I was young the worst nightmare for a parent was to be told that their son or daughter wanted to join a rock band and go on the road. After the 60’s Mom and Dad had all the pictures they needed for where that would lead. Stories of the wild life and early deaths of the famous were enough to scare any parent into locking up their kids until they escaped or reached age 30. 

 

While many parents are just attempting to mold their child into what they wished they had become, most are just trying to avoid really bad things happening to their offspring.

 

My parents had an interesting approach to this problem. There were 5 boys in the family and no girls. We were interested in music early. Instead of this being a red flag and scaring them half to death, they allowed us to do music by funneling it through the church we attended. For 20 years we sang and traveled in our area and surrounding states. When we reached our teens, and began to want to take our music to the next level, they encouraged us to do so, and supported our efforts.

 

Instead of music being a menace to us, we were guided and allowed to flourish. In fact, we were so busy and having so much fun with our work as church musicians and traveling with our family group that we didn’t have time to get into any of the scary to parents things that were normally associated with bands.

 

You knew there was a moral to the story, and here it is: Guide your children in all the good things they need, to be honest and industrious and willing to help others. The other thing to do is to watch and find out what THEY are clearly interested in. Encourage them to develop their talents and funnel them into productive paths instead of tying them down to only what the previous generation thought was the only vocations that were respectable. 

 

If you hold them in bondage to your own ambitions, you may just lose them when they finally break free. The will do what they always wanted to do anyway, and will be poorly prepared for the pitfalls along the way. You will then spend the rest of your life wondering how much of the trouble they get into is your fault.

 

Anne Frank

 

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”

 

 

Steven Hawking's Web Site

 

Steven Hawking on Wikipedia

 

Steven Hawking on Facebook

 

 

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Yo-Yo Ma, Famous Cellist

 

“Practicing is not only playing your instrument, either by yourself or rehearsing with others - it also includes imagining yourself practicing. Your brain forms the same neural connections and muscle memory whether you are imagining the task or actually doing it.”

 

I am not a golfer. I know many of you just lost  a lot of respect for me with that admission, but it’s the truth. I have only played golf a couple times while on vacation with friends, and had a great time because of who I was with, but not necessarily because I got a good score.

 

Before going on vacation, I got my hands on some golf magazines and even borrowed a book from someone I worked with and studied them to see what I was going to need to do. I never practiced golf physically at all before we went, and all I had was my mental preparation. Just before each round, we got a bucket at the driving range and I asked some questions from my more experienced friends and got a reasonable swing, but with only moderate distance.

 

Many golf courses in our area have some really interesting terrain due the the mountainous nature of our state. There was one particular hole I heard about long before we got there and was intimidated even more when we arrived. The dreaded hole #8. 

 

This hole wasn’t extremely long, but had a huge ravine sloping from right to left. It was level with the hole at the top, but was about 50 feet down in a steady slope. If you didn’t make it to the green, you had to take your second shot from 50 feet below grade no matter what you did.

 

Watching my friends plan their second shot before taking their first one, I made the same mistake, and was down for the count the first time. The next day was different. Knowing what was coming, I did some mental preparation and all day long envisioned a flat surface all the way across from the tee to the hole. I took my swing like the book said and didn’t realize how well it was going until all my friends started yelling.

 

I looked up in time to see the ball hit the green and head straight for the hole. It bobbled around the hole and stopped 18 inches on the other side. A simple putt and I birdied the hole.

 

For a person who had never golfed before this is an incredible shot. I didn’t do nearly so well on the other holes but I didn’t do the same mental preparation for them. There is nothing mystical or supernatural about this concept. Mental practice and preparation makes your mind much more ready for a challenge and banishes the fear you would normally feel. That fear hurts your performance more than you can know.

 

There is an excellent article at LifeHacker.com called “A Better Way To Practice. Check it out. A link will included in the show notes for Episode 39.

 

http://lifehacker.com/5939374/a-better-way-to-practice

 

Yo-Yo Ma's Web Site

 

Yo-Yo Ma in Wikipedia

 

Yo-Yo Ma on Facebook

 

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Judy Garland & Rosa Parks -DOTM038

Judy Garland, Actress

“Be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”
When a critic reviews a new actor in a smash hit movie, and they wonder where this person has been for all this time without being discovered, many times they say he was almost as good as John Wayne, or one of the other famous actors.
It is quite well known that you can never out John Wayne John Wayne. Attempting to honor the legacy and learn from it is great, but to actually try to duplicate the original is a losing proposition. You are much better off being yourself and starting a new legacy of your own.
Some of us are doomed to follow the legacy of a parent who is known for some great qualities, or a sibling who played amazing football 2 years before we got there, and everyone is expecting you not to measure up. Oh, that is except the coach. The coach is actually PRAYING you will be as good at football.
This begs the question, do you want that shadow looming over you? Maybe a better question would be, Do you really want to play football? There is nothing worse than attempting to excel at something you are not really interested in just to please others. On the other hand, if you really love football, and want to play, use that high standard as a goal to achieve. Even if you don’t get the same stellar stats as your famous sibling, being a simply great football player is well, great!
There is also a chance that if you don’t let the pressure get to you, your tenacity could spur you on to exceed even the lofty accomplishments of that revered saint of a sibling you have to follow. If you really want it, and believe you can, go for it!
Be who you really are, regardless of pressure from others to be identical to those around you. Don’t be someone else, simply be the best you -you can be.

A quote from actor Jackie Chan
“I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I just wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.”

Just like there can never be another Judy Garland, John Wayne, Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan, there can never be another you, either. One of these days, if you do your best, there will be someone else looking up to you and trying to measure up. Do them a favor and create a high standard for their goals. If this process continues, each generation could produce better and better heroes than the preceding ones. You are the next step in that process. Don’t let your great grandchildren down.

Judy Garland on Wikipedia

Judy Garland on the International Movie Database

The Judy Garland Museum



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Rosa Parks, Civil Rights Hero
“ I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done diminishes fear.”
Indecision paralyzes you. Period. Yes, there is a time to do the research to give yourself the tools to make the best decision, but when the time comes to act, it is REALLY, simply time to act. The research should give you the courage to work past your fear and just go.
I will admit that I love doing research. If I have feared something, learning the ins and outs of the situation in advance gives me comfort that I am doing the right thing. That being said, I have been paralyzed before in the research process, and have been frozen in fear.
When you are frozen with the fear of indecision, two things happen. First and foremost, NOTHING happens. You are simply just standing there. No progress, no new knowledge is gained, nobody around you gets help from you for their own journey. Simply put, when you are not progressing, you are not worth much to yourself or others.
Secondly, you are standing stationary while amazing opportunities are passing by. You aren’t even reaching out for them, you are just stuck in place wishing one of them would intersect with you so you wouldn’t have to make any decision.
In earlier episodes of Daggers Of The Mind, I have mentioned people who say, “If someone would just give me a chance.” instead of making it happen. These people are not wanting to make the choices necessary to progress. They want others to do it for them. This illustrates some real weakness of character, and it is likely that the daily opportunities going by at high speed are not going to slow down long enough for them to hitch a ride on the bus. Hitching a ride would actually require them to make the decision that this was the right opportunity. Simply hanging around and waiting is not good research to let preparation meet opportunity. Again, when the chance shows up, indecision rules, and the chance is squandered. No bus ride for you.
Another thing that could go wrong is if something looks too good to be true it probably is. People who live in constant fear of making choices usually jump at these. It makes them feel good to finally make that choice, because it looks so good. With no preparation or care, they see an amazing, limited time only, get rich quick and be beautiful for the rest of your days offer, and they jump. This was that chance they have been waiting for to simply happen to them all this time. I have said before that ANYTHING that looks too good to be true, most often is. In this case, the decision should be a firm “no!”. Indecisive people are pretty gullible. Don’t let some shyster make this decision for you.
Learn to research while there is time and then make timely decisions at the right moment. Don’t be afraid to simply LIVE.

 A final quote.
“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” – Caroline Myss. (mace)

Rosa Parks in Wikipedia

Rosa Parks Interview at Achievement.org
Rosa Parks at History.com


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On June 20th, 2015. My wife Dee and I are launching a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com.



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Henry Ford & Yogi Berra -DOTM037

Henry Ford, Automotive Giant

 

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."

 

Think about your best friend. Most of the time this would be the person who encourages you the most, tells you how well you are doing and listens to you when things are hitting the fan in your life. We all need a person like this around us, and we feel good while we are in their presence.

Now, how about a person who will tactfully tell you the honest truth? Ooo, that's a little tougher. 

Hearing the truth can be a little unpleasant at times, especially when we hear we are not measuring up to our full potential.

So, which friend is more apt to help you improve and live up to your full potential? Is it the one who encourages you, and tells you how great you are doing, or the one who tells you truthfully what is needed to reach your next level of development?

If you want to improve, it is painfully obvious that the hard truth is just what the doctor ordered. This "best" friend will be one who is tactful, honest, and encouraging at the same time. They don't just worship your accomplishments to date, they sometimes cajole and even push you a little to be better than you are today. 

Once you have found such a friend, it's time to get your ego in check and listen to them. The only thing to keep you from benefiting from the advice and improving yourself is..... well..... yourself. 

The old saying that the Truth hurts is certainly true, and how much it hurts you is totally dependant on the thickness of the walls in your ego fortress. You best friend will not lay siege to your ego and batter their way in to give you what you need to hear. They will also not starve you out of your fortress by giving you the silent treatment.

When a person combines a true knowledge of what is best for your personal next step with a caring heart, it is a good idea to lower the drawbridge. Such a person will not force you to take their advice, as it is only effective when it is freely given and gratefully received.

 

A quote from Henry Rollins:

 

"Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes it feels real good."

 

It may hurt to lower the drawbridge on your personal ego fortress, but the rewards can be tremendous when you are able to do so. That friend who can bring out your best is standing by to help.

Are you ready to move up to your next level of development? You can get there with a little help from your friends.  And that feels real good.

There is great article on this subject on the Say It Better website. Check out the show notes for episode 37 for the link.

 

Say It Better Article

 

Henry Ford in Wikipedia

 

The Life Of Henry Ford

 

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Yogi Berra, Legendary Baseball Philosopher

 

"So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face."

 

Yogi Berra decided not to be a fashion model. I assume he had his reasons for doing so. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Choosing the thing he was best at for a career choice was probably the best career choice he could have chosen. History bears this out. His major league baseball record of catching, hitting, and coaching was quite legendary, and his homespun philosophy was also good for the sport, since everyone couldn't wait to hear what he would say next. Many of his quotes have become the stuff of legend, and are used in our everyday conversations. Many times we have no idea where the actual words came from.

Through the ups and downs of his life in baseball, he always stayed true to his true calling. And he never tried to be fashion model even once, (as far as we know.)

 

Rodney Dangerfield

 

"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

 

Mr. Dangerfield has had a career with a particularly caustic type of humor. The interesting thing was that he spent most of the time making fun of himself. While his success is unorthodox, and would very hard for most people to do so well, he took what he had and made the most of it.

It took him quite a while to define his true niche, and worked at such diverse things as a singing waiter until he was fired, a performing acrobatic diver until his performing career bottomed out and he gave up show business for a job selling aluminum siding to support his wife and family. He later said that he was so little known in show business at the time, that he was the only one that knew he quit.

He finally found his true calling, and in 1967 he filled in when the Ed Sullivan Show needed a last minute replacement for another act. His self-deprecating humor was a surprise smash.

Now, let's apply this principle to ourselves. Are you trying to do something you really aren't suited for? Many of us have jobs where we are just trying to make a living, and are not necessarily attempting to change the world, but what do you do with your spare time? Do you have some hidden talent, something you are really great at, that is just stagnating in obscurity? 

It's really sad when a person "could have been a contender" and all they did was just sit down, suppressed their passion, and never lived to their full potential on that one best thing they could do.

Think long and hard about this one. You could really become what you are meant to be. Even if you fail a few times in the attempt. Find it, and just don't quit.

 

 

Yogi Berra in Wikipedia

 

The Yogi Berra Museum

 

Rodney Dangerfield in Wikipedia

 

Rodney Dangerfield Official Website

 

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Carter G Woodson & Alan Alda -DOTM036

Carter G. Woodson, the Father Of Black History Month

 

“If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions. If you can determine what a man thinks you do not have to worry about what he will do. If you can make a man believe that he is inferior, you don’t have to compel him to seek an inferior status, he will do so without being told"

 

In earlier episodes of Daggers Of The Mind, you have heard me say that what you think determines the decisions you make, and the actions you take.

There is a simple explanation for this. If you think you can, you will give it your best, but if you don't think you can, you won't even try.

That is very telling for specific situations, but what if a person feels inferior to those around them in general? How would this affect how a person behaves?

 

Don Shula said:

 

"The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others."

 

Failure is something that takes fortitude to accept. People who consider themselves inferior are in a weakened position, and there is a desperation to prove, first to themselves and then to others, that it simply wasn't their fault. That is when the whining begins. It is incredibly easy to spot people with inferiority complexes, they are constantly whining and blaming others for their own mistakes.

 

Alternatively, when a person feels the equal of all those around them, it is easy to see when they messed up, and they are quick to admit it without fear. Why is this?

 

It's simple, really. Literally everyone messes up regularly, and it isn't that big a deal if you did your best. The only people it really bothers are the aforementioned desperately inferior ones. Of course, the inferior ones didn't do their best to start with, totally sure they couldn't measure up.

 

An illustration if you will. Have you ever been driving behind someone in town, and every time they approach a green light, they begin to start slowing down a half a block away, just sure that the light is going to turn red to stop them. This self imposed failure is completely prophetic since they probably will get stopped by the light since their belief dictated their actions. They KNEW it would catch them, so they slowed down to get ready for it, thus MAKING it catch them. 

 

You are the equal of everyone around you. If you believe it, your behavior will induce others to believe it as well. The reverse is also true. If you don't believe in your own equality, others will sense this, and their behavior will change accordingly. Which person would you rather be?

 

 

A final quote by Hank Aaron:

 

"I never doubted my ability, but when you hear all your life you're inferior, it makes you wonder if the other guys have something you've never seen before. If they do, I'm still looking for it."

 

Carter G. Woodson on Wikipedia

 

http://www.woodsonmuseum.org/about-us

 

http://www.nps.gov/cawo/index.htm

National Park Service, Carter G. Woodson Home

 

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Alan Alda, Actor

 

 "Listening is being able to be changed by the other person."

 

Yeah, I know we SAY we listen, but is it possible we are just hearing, but not really listening? Hearing means sound is going by and being intercepted by our outer ear, being processed by the inner ear, and being interpreted by the brain to let you know what is being said. What you do with that info determines whether you are actually listening.

 

Larry King

 

"I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I am going to learn, I must do it by listening."

 

There is so much to learn from listening, but what or who do you listen to? Listening to new ideas is great and actually necessary, but there comes a time in every conversation where you must decide if what you are listening to is a good idea to continue. At work we can get into some really cool philosophical conversations, and I am constantly given information on the subjects that I had never thought of myself, and it gives me major food for thought. As Alan Alda says, I am open, and it actually changes me.

 

This being said, when would be a good time to stop listening and tune it out? If you do this too fast you can miss out on a lot. Many miss out simply because of who is talking. Since many teens just know that an adult, especially the parents aren't going to say anything useful, they tune them out categorically. I know many older people who do the same to teens since they haven't learned anything yet.

 

Neither of these things are true, and as I've said before on Daggers Of The Mind, every one you meet knows something you don't.

 

Ok, here is a situation when I tune the conversation out. There are times when the content of the conversation grieves me so much I just don't want to listen anymore. There are people I know who drop 4 f-bombs in every 10 words. There, I said it. By adding suffixes to them, every form of speech can be substituted in, and you have a major all purpose word there.

 

I remember asking my dad about this when I was young, when I was first exposed to a lot of cussing in a new school and he, with a straight face said, "It's because they don't have a very big vocabulary." I resolved at that young age, that I was never going to be caught with such a small vocabulary I would be forced to use the same word over and over in a sentence. So far, so good.

 

This doesn't mean that everyone who spices their words with constant profanity are stupid. Many times a person will talk to me in a perfectly normal and intelligent conversation, and when the cusser shows up, it's off to the races.

 

The official bottom line:  Your first reaction should be to listen. Really listen. Once the content is established, you have a decision to make. Most of the time you will benefit quite a lot, and maybe even help others by continuing the conversation. Sometimes, it's time to get out of Dodge. It is your decision, and yours alone how much you are willing to be changed by others. Make the right choice.

 

Alan Alda's Main Site

 

Alan Alda on Wikipedia

 

Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science

 

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