Mark Harmon & Margaret Thatcher -DOTM018

Mark Harmon

“How many times have you been on the freeway and had someone fly by you at 100 mph then end up two cars ahead of you at the off ramp? What's the point?”

 

Ahh, that amazing feeling when you jumped ahead of a few others and made it to the front of the line without really earning it. Did you have a real sense of accomplishment? We know you were the same one who jumped line in 1st grade because you were so immature, such a baby.

Somewhere along the way, you learned that to get your own way, you bullied others. Pushing and forcing a path for yourself, others are just in this world for you to measure your level of conquest. Every person you meet, there is a singular thought. “I must break you”.

Blaming it on your mother or father sounds like a good excuse, and it makes a lot of money for psychiatrists, but ultimately your decision to dominate is your own aggression against people who never wronged you at all. It’s just as wrong as it was when you were the victim. 

It’s time to grow up. It’s wrong, and one of these days you will do it to the wrong person. They will come down on you so hard it will be like your childhood all over again. This time, however, you won’t be able to act like you don’t understand why you have been victimized. That aggressor is just you, only stronger and more violent. And you have just met yourself a little further in the cycle of violence than you are right now. 

Stop being the bully. Get help if you must, but just stop the bullying. There are many in the world who can’t believe how much of a lowly uneducated thug you are. No matter how smart you think you are, it’s obvious that self control is the one thing that separates us from the beasts. After you are gone, that legacy of careless carnage and destruction will live on….. 

Forever.

 

Links to info about Mark Harmon and the subject of bullying with be included in the show notes at daggersofthemind.com.

 

Mark Harmon on International Movie Database

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Harmon

 

http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/index.html

 

http://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/index.aspx

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Margaret Thatcher, prime Minister of The United Kingdom, 1979 - 1990

 

“Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

 

Isn’t it fun to be stuck somewhere listening to someone boast about themselves? If you are detained long enough, you may get their entire life story, hearing how they were influential in all the amazing events of the world. When you hear that they probably assisted in the creation of the earth, it may be time to throw in a large amount of salt.

The phrase “take it with a grain of salt” is very timely in this case since you can’t accept boasting as truth in its original state. Salt alters the taste of food and makes it more palatable. 

The very act of bragging about one’s accomplishments shows that the person feels inadequate about the situation and must embellish it to seem more important than they really were at the time.

Hey, why not just become a better person and then others will notice and boast about you instead of having to do your own sales job?

One way to get this started is to obviously live your life in such a manner that others will WANT to speak well of you. Second, find good things to say about others. I don’t mean fluffy, insincere praise, I mean promote others in a truthful way that helps them in their own journey of life.

As you concentrate on that task, you will be surprised to find later how many people are speaking well of you! It is natural to feel warm feelings for someone who has supported you in full view of others. Diverting your attention from yourself not only stops your boasting tendencies that others hate to listen to, but it increases your integrity in their eyes.

Soon you will find that you actually ARE praiseworthy, and others will return the favor in spades. Don’t say what you wish you were, BECOME what you want to be.

 

“When boasting ends, there dignity begins.”

Owen D. Young

 

A link to a Values for Life!! Blog article on this subject will be included in the show notes. 

 

Values for Life!! Article

 

Come to daggersofthemind.com and check it out. You can also find direct links to subscribe to the show using iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, and even email!

 

Margaret Thatcher on Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Thatcher

 

Margaret Thatcher Foundation

http://www.margaretthatcher.org/

 

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George Patton & Olivia de Haviland -DOTM017

General George Patton

 

“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

 

The best decisions are made when people who disagree come to a 

consensus of what is best. Notice I didn’t say compromise. Compromise 

means that you don’t fully agree with the solution, but you are 

willing to give up some elements of your idea under pressure. 

Consensus means after the pressure cooker session is finished, ALL 

agree that THIS is the absolute BEST idea.

 

The interchange and challenge of ideas has been always been the best

caldron for THE IDEA, the ultimate best idea for the situation at 

hand.

 

Most people can’t work with others well enough, (checking their ego 

at the door) to admit that an element of thought from a coworker is 

better than yours and should be incorporated in the final plan.

 

Everyone you meet has many different experiences and knows things you 

don’t. This is also true of yourself in relation to them. The 

buzzword today is Diversity. I have heard that a lot, but all that 

was said was to embrace how different we all are. Sound good, but it 

sounds more like just tolerating others, than any real way to 

accomplish something.

 

Hey, why not take it to the next level. Being diverse is quite 

obvious. How about talking about how different gears mesh into one 

another and make the larger machine go? The actual STRENGTH is that 

the opposites can work together to make the best possible outcome 

when we are willing to listen with a common goal and work toward it.

 

Driven by media, our society is focused on competition and conquering 

the next person who looks you in the eye. Voting you off the island, 

kicking you to the curb, and all the other slang invented is about 

the domination of every person you meet.

 

The company or organization who does the best is the one who yes, has 

a leader, but has a leader who is willing to attract and promote 

teams of people who can work together in this fashion.

 

Adolf Hitler was a great example of a man who did the opposite. He 

surrounded himself only with those who worshiped and feared him. The 

vast majority were less intelligent than himself so he could dominate 

them and his ego could be satisfied. When push came to shove, and his 

decisions got more erratic, no one was in a position to advise or 

even discuss the future of the state, and everybody knows what 

horrible crimes against humanity were committed. He eventually ran 

the entire enterprise into the ground with tremendous loss of life on 

both sides. He was the ultimate micro manager.

 

Let’s work more for consensus. Everyone, even those you know disagree 

with you, have a valuable contribution to the ultimate goal. If you 

want to be tough, if you want to succeed, stand strong and be willing 

to look at competing ideas square in the face, and give them fair 

consideration. Don’t be a wimp!

 

Offical Site

http://www.generalpatton.com/

 

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/446863/George-Smith-Patton

 

 

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Olivia de Haviland

 

“Famous people feel that they must perpetually be on the crest of the 

wave, not realising that it is against all the rules of life. You 

can't be on top all the time; it isn't natural.”

 

How many surfers do you know that have a never-ending ride? Every 

wave has a beginning and an end. Most waves are caught close to shore 

and only last for a short time. Then, every dedicated surfer goes in 

search of the next one. After a few years however, even the best 

surfers have to realize they are no longer physically able to keep up 

with the sport, and are forced to move on, looking for “waves” in 

other areas of life.

 

The ride at the top of any profession is exhilarating, but you can’t 

stay there forever. Working your way up to that crest is a process 

that builds the character to stay on top longer, but the inevitable 

result is that there is nowhere to go but down after that. 

 

Where is your life in this cycle? Have you reached your full 

potential? Some peak during the work years, earning enormous amounts 

of money and building monuments to themselves to last through the 

ages. Others have a quiet life working and raising a family, or 

deciding to go through life in other arrangements, and then when they 

retire, a whole new life opens for that seasoned and experienced 

individual who then has major accomplishments in the later stages of 

life.

 

The preparation phase at the beginning is very important. Never pass 

up an opportunity to learn something new. As an example, I went to 

the doctor today to consult on the dislocated shoulder I managed to 

obtain last week. On the way out, I asked to see the xrays that were 

taken before and after it was reduced in the emergency room. He put 

the before and after shots side by side so I could get a feel for the 

difference. That was really cool. While I have no definitive idea 

when that knowledge may come in handy, whether in my writing or if I 

am present when someone else has the same misfortune, I have that 

knowledge now, and I can pull it out as needed.

 

At the crest, you will need all those things you learned at odd times 

to stay up there as long as you possibly can, for maximum benefit to 

yourself and others.

 

As you start down the other side, give some others a shove upward to 

help them realize their goals. Be a teacher. Make a difference in 

someone else’s life. Freely you have received, freely give. 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olivia_de_Havilland

 

Olivia de Haviland on International Movie Database

 

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Oprah Winfrey & Peter Falk -DOTM016

Oprah Winfrey

“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”

Imagine you are building the foundation for a house using cinderblocks. As you work your way along, you find one is severely cracked and is starting to crumble. You realize that there is a place in the foundation where it would never be seen, “What’s the harm?”

 

Another quote by Oprah Winfrey:

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”

 

So, what’s the harm? The weakest link in the chain is the one that will fail when put under pressure. A few years down the road, when the homeowner finds cracks in the walls because of the failure of that block, the real harm will be revealed.

 

Ok, how about the harm it will do to you? If you get by with it now, you will do a little more next time, then more, and soon you won’t even recognize yourself because of your utter lack of integrity. It happened gradually. If you had been offered that drastic choice at the beginning, you would have been so flabbergasted you could never do it. But by sliding away a little at time, you could eventually end up in jail.

 

I found another quote on the subject that pinpoints the integrity issue directly for the ladies. 

 

Jacqueline Bisset:

“Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.”

 

Have you ever seen an older woman who was beautiful in her bearing and was such a lady? We all want to keep our 18 year old body, but that is not to be. If physical beauty is all you have, you will in trouble later when the real you defines your life.

 

Use your time to build a foundation of integrity, and the other virtues Ms. Bisset spoke of. If you do, your beauty will last a lifetime.

 

When faced with an integrity choice, always think, not just of this moment, but think several moves ahead like a chess player. Ultimately, that is how you win the game of life.

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Ms. Bisset on International Movie Database

 

Oprah Winfrey on Twitter

 

Oprah Winfrey on International Movie Database

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The next quote is from the actor Peter Falk. He was suggested by my mother, June Gibson-Holbrook

 

"Sometimes I see my father in me."

 

It can be really entertaining when you see yourself saying or doing something that reminds you of your father. My father’s name is Floyde, so if we find ourselves behaving like him, we call it a “Floyde-ian slip”.

While my father will be the first to tell you he is not perfect, that acknowledgement of his limitations is precisely what makes him such a great man. One thing I can say definitively, he was always there. 

In spite of working lots of overtime to make ends meet for a large family, he was available every chance he got. This was not just a sense of duty, but because he really was proud of us, and he wanted to be there for every event of our lives.

So many fathers today are absent from the lives of their offspring. The children are left with no male role model, and the teaching and nurturing that only a father can give. A mother does her best, but something is missing that the mother can’t provide completely.

 

Enter the stepfather. I have long believed that family is less about  blood than it is about relationship. Stepfathers CHOOSE their children. If the biological father is not around, a stepfather can fill this void in a child‘s life. The stepfather walks into the situation with eyes wide open. He WANTS to fill this need. 

 

A quote from Steve Harvey

 

“All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.”

 

Fathers, please don’t be absent from your child’s life. Your child needs all the help and support you can give, and most of all, your time. Be there for them and make sure they have all the advantages a family unit can provide as a well rounded institution.

 

Dare to be the Dad. Now it’s up to you to live up to your responsibility. Mr. Falk‘s point of seeing your father in yourself, can be good or bad. Don’t blame your own father who wasn’t there for your negligence.  This is you, now, making the manly choice. Be there for them. Nurture them so they don’t have to go through what you did.

 

One final quote from Gwyneth Paltrow

 

“My father, he was like the rock, the guy you went to with every problem.”

 

Peter Falk on International Movie Database

 

Peter Falk on Wikipedia

 

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Ralph Waite & Doris Roberts -DOTM015

Ralph Waite

 

“You only mature when you face problems you can't deal with.”

 

Think back to the finest moments of your life. I imagine the path to the accomplishment was simple, and you and everyone else knew it. The acclaim you received was so immense because you didn’t really have to work for it at all.

 

Nope, not even close. A victory that you just breezed through is not really a victory at all. The glory, and the maturity only comes in the struggle. You must actually learn new skills, not just draw on old lessons if you are going to grow from it, to mature.

 

I have mentioned my daughter Ecil in previous episodes. Here is her Facebook posting regarding a crisis she faced and her reaction to it.

 

Feeling pretty epic at the moment. A couple of weeks ago, I found out that there was a clerical error which resulted in me being 4 credit hours short of graduating in December and it was too late to enroll in another course. Not being the kind of person to take things lying down, I've been busting my rear since that phone call to get into the Credit-by-Examination program at WVUP. As of today, I have passed two tests which has put me over the four credit line. Barring any other surprises, I get to graduate as planned. Unlike many in this world I refuse to be a victim of circumstance, and I wasn't about to let something like this keep me from my goals. I'm glad this was able to be resolved with the first two tests so I can focus on the rest of this semester with a clear head.

 

Needless to say, I am quite proud to say, “That’s my daughter.” She seems to gotten the best of the personalities of both my wife and myself, with few of the liabilities. You can’t ask for more than that.

 

How do you react when an impossible obstacle is presented? Most people fall into two categories.  

 

The first is to sit down and wait for someone to come by an get you out of it. If no one comes by you just keep sitting and accept the situation and live with the failure.

 

The second is that group of people who immediately begin to examine the situation from all angles, asking advice of others, and when they have grown in knowledge and confidence, they proceed and conquer it.

The reaction at the crossroads makes all the difference. One fork is “I wonder if someone will get me out of this”, and the other is , “What must I do to solve this”? Will you stagnate in place, or will you grow and mature? It’s your choice.

 

Ralph Waite on Wikipedia

 

Ralph Waite on International Movie Database

 

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Doris Roberts

“Everybody's a teacher if you listen.”

 

At what age should a person decide to stop learning? Many figure that by the time they get out of high school or college, the learning curve is over and it’s time to apply the knowledge they have worked so hard for in real life.

 

Sounds good. I think. What are you going to do when new technology arrives and you have to use it in your employment or everyday life?

 

Yes, that is a little extreme. Of course we WILL learn things we are faced with that MUST be mastered to continue our employment, but what about the stray bits of knowledge and insight that just sort of come our way?

 

A constant stream of valuable info is washing over us every minute of the day. The average person simply doesn’t recognize this valuable resource because they are only tuned in to info they need to solve the current problem, and don’t see the need to keep updating the store of random data for later use.

 

My wife and I were watching a movie yesterday about a pioneer woman who was left alone in the wilderness after their wagon was separated from the rest, then her husband was killed in a raid. We kept finding ourselves annoyed when she would walk away from some valuable resource such as clothing, shelter, or a food source she would certainly need later, but didn’t have the insight to simply pick it up.

 

So many facts and insights we would most certainly have a use for are streaming past as we ignore them in pursuit of our current goal. Our current goal would be so much easier to accomplish if we had only paid attention to information long since past.

 

Our brains are in no danger at all of being completely filled up and overrun with information. We are told that we only use a small portion of the full potential our brains are capable of in our lifetimes. Current wisdom says that the more you exercise your brain, the less chance you have of developing dementia. 

 

So much valuable information is available from those impromptu teachers you encounter on a daily basis. Just like college professors, each person you meet is a specialist with their own experiences and aptitudes. You could consider a person completely ignorant of most basic knowledge, but then, if you just listen, that nugget of truth and insight comes through. 

 

Grab it, stuff it in your brain, and someday, you will need it, or you can pass it forward to someone you love. It could even save your life someday. 

 

Doris Roberts on Wikipedia

 

Doris Roberts on International Movie Database

 

 

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