Monday, June 15, 2015
Judy Garland & Rosa Parks -DOTM038
Judy Garland, Actress
“Be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.”
When a critic reviews a new actor in a smash hit movie, and they wonder where this person has been for all this time without being discovered, many times they say he was almost as good as John Wayne, or one of the other famous actors.
It is quite well known that you can never out John Wayne John Wayne. Attempting to honor the legacy and learn from it is great, but to actually try to duplicate the original is a losing proposition. You are much better off being yourself and starting a new legacy of your own.
Some of us are doomed to follow the legacy of a parent who is known for some great qualities, or a sibling who played amazing football 2 years before we got there, and everyone is expecting you not to measure up. Oh, that is except the coach. The coach is actually PRAYING you will be as good at football.
This begs the question, do you want that shadow looming over you? Maybe a better question would be, Do you really want to play football? There is nothing worse than attempting to excel at something you are not really interested in just to please others. On the other hand, if you really love football, and want to play, use that high standard as a goal to achieve. Even if you don’t get the same stellar stats as your famous sibling, being a simply great football player is well, great!
There is also a chance that if you don’t let the pressure get to you, your tenacity could spur you on to exceed even the lofty accomplishments of that revered saint of a sibling you have to follow. If you really want it, and believe you can, go for it!
Be who you really are, regardless of pressure from others to be identical to those around you. Don’t be someone else, simply be the best you -you can be.
A quote from actor Jackie Chan
“I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I just wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.”
Just like there can never be another Judy Garland, John Wayne, Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan, there can never be another you, either. One of these days, if you do your best, there will be someone else looking up to you and trying to measure up. Do them a favor and create a high standard for their goals. If this process continues, each generation could produce better and better heroes than the preceding ones. You are the next step in that process. Don’t let your great grandchildren down.
Judy Garland on Wikipedia
Judy Garland on the International Movie Database
The Judy Garland Museum
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Rosa Parks, Civil Rights Hero
“ I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done diminishes fear.”
Indecision paralyzes you. Period. Yes, there is a time to do the research to give yourself the tools to make the best decision, but when the time comes to act, it is REALLY, simply time to act. The research should give you the courage to work past your fear and just go.
I will admit that I love doing research. If I have feared something, learning the ins and outs of the situation in advance gives me comfort that I am doing the right thing. That being said, I have been paralyzed before in the research process, and have been frozen in fear.
When you are frozen with the fear of indecision, two things happen. First and foremost, NOTHING happens. You are simply just standing there. No progress, no new knowledge is gained, nobody around you gets help from you for their own journey. Simply put, when you are not progressing, you are not worth much to yourself or others.
Secondly, you are standing stationary while amazing opportunities are passing by. You aren’t even reaching out for them, you are just stuck in place wishing one of them would intersect with you so you wouldn’t have to make any decision.
In earlier episodes of Daggers Of The Mind, I have mentioned people who say, “If someone would just give me a chance.” instead of making it happen. These people are not wanting to make the choices necessary to progress. They want others to do it for them. This illustrates some real weakness of character, and it is likely that the daily opportunities going by at high speed are not going to slow down long enough for them to hitch a ride on the bus. Hitching a ride would actually require them to make the decision that this was the right opportunity. Simply hanging around and waiting is not good research to let preparation meet opportunity. Again, when the chance shows up, indecision rules, and the chance is squandered. No bus ride for you.
Another thing that could go wrong is if something looks too good to be true it probably is. People who live in constant fear of making choices usually jump at these. It makes them feel good to finally make that choice, because it looks so good. With no preparation or care, they see an amazing, limited time only, get rich quick and be beautiful for the rest of your days offer, and they jump. This was that chance they have been waiting for to simply happen to them all this time. I have said before that ANYTHING that looks too good to be true, most often is. In this case, the decision should be a firm “no!”. Indecisive people are pretty gullible. Don’t let some shyster make this decision for you.
Learn to research while there is time and then make timely decisions at the right moment. Don’t be afraid to simply LIVE.
A final quote.
“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” – Caroline Myss. (mace)
Rosa Parks in Wikipedia
Rosa Parks Interview at Achievement.org
Rosa Parks at History.com
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On June 20th, 2015. My wife Dee and I are launching a new show called the WV Podcast. It is a show about the great state of WV and the stories of the amazing people who make it such a great place to live. Let’s tear down the negative hillbilly stereotype assigned to us by the national media. Let’s tell our own story. You can find the show at wvpodcast.com.
Download this episode!
Monday, June 8, 2015
Henry Ford & Yogi Berra -DOTM037
Henry Ford, Automotive Giant
"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
Think about your best friend. Most of the time this would be the person who encourages you the most, tells you how well you are doing and listens to you when things are hitting the fan in your life. We all need a person like this around us, and we feel good while we are in their presence.
Now, how about a person who will tactfully tell you the honest truth? Ooo, that's a little tougher.
Hearing the truth can be a little unpleasant at times, especially when we hear we are not measuring up to our full potential.
So, which friend is more apt to help you improve and live up to your full potential? Is it the one who encourages you, and tells you how great you are doing, or the one who tells you truthfully what is needed to reach your next level of development?
If you want to improve, it is painfully obvious that the hard truth is just what the doctor ordered. This "best" friend will be one who is tactful, honest, and encouraging at the same time. They don't just worship your accomplishments to date, they sometimes cajole and even push you a little to be better than you are today.
Once you have found such a friend, it's time to get your ego in check and listen to them. The only thing to keep you from benefiting from the advice and improving yourself is..... well..... yourself.
The old saying that the Truth hurts is certainly true, and how much it hurts you is totally dependant on the thickness of the walls in your ego fortress. You best friend will not lay siege to your ego and batter their way in to give you what you need to hear. They will also not starve you out of your fortress by giving you the silent treatment.
When a person combines a true knowledge of what is best for your personal next step with a caring heart, it is a good idea to lower the drawbridge. Such a person will not force you to take their advice, as it is only effective when it is freely given and gratefully received.
A quote from Henry Rollins:
"Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes it feels real good."
It may hurt to lower the drawbridge on your personal ego fortress, but the rewards can be tremendous when you are able to do so. That friend who can bring out your best is standing by to help.
Are you ready to move up to your next level of development? You can get there with a little help from your friends. And that feels real good.
There is great article on this subject on the Say It Better website. Check out the show notes for episode 37 for the link.
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Yogi Berra, Legendary Baseball Philosopher
"So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face."
Yogi Berra decided not to be a fashion model. I assume he had his reasons for doing so. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Choosing the thing he was best at for a career choice was probably the best career choice he could have chosen. History bears this out. His major league baseball record of catching, hitting, and coaching was quite legendary, and his homespun philosophy was also good for the sport, since everyone couldn't wait to hear what he would say next. Many of his quotes have become the stuff of legend, and are used in our everyday conversations. Many times we have no idea where the actual words came from.
Through the ups and downs of his life in baseball, he always stayed true to his true calling. And he never tried to be fashion model even once, (as far as we know.)
Rodney Dangerfield
"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."
Mr. Dangerfield has had a career with a particularly caustic type of humor. The interesting thing was that he spent most of the time making fun of himself. While his success is unorthodox, and would very hard for most people to do so well, he took what he had and made the most of it.
It took him quite a while to define his true niche, and worked at such diverse things as a singing waiter until he was fired, a performing acrobatic diver until his performing career bottomed out and he gave up show business for a job selling aluminum siding to support his wife and family. He later said that he was so little known in show business at the time, that he was the only one that knew he quit.
He finally found his true calling, and in 1967 he filled in when the Ed Sullivan Show needed a last minute replacement for another act. His self-deprecating humor was a surprise smash.
Now, let's apply this principle to ourselves. Are you trying to do something you really aren't suited for? Many of us have jobs where we are just trying to make a living, and are not necessarily attempting to change the world, but what do you do with your spare time? Do you have some hidden talent, something you are really great at, that is just stagnating in obscurity?
It's really sad when a person "could have been a contender" and all they did was just sit down, suppressed their passion, and never lived to their full potential on that one best thing they could do.
Think long and hard about this one. You could really become what you are meant to be. Even if you fail a few times in the attempt. Find it, and just don't quit.
Rodney Dangerfield in Wikipedia
Rodney Dangerfield Official Website
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Monday, June 1, 2015
Carter G Woodson & Alan Alda -DOTM036
Carter G. Woodson, the Father Of Black History Month
“If you can control a man’s thinking, you don’t have to worry about his actions. If you can determine what a man thinks you do not have to worry about what he will do. If you can make a man believe that he is inferior, you don’t have to compel him to seek an inferior status, he will do so without being told"
In earlier episodes of Daggers Of The Mind, you have heard me say that what you think determines the decisions you make, and the actions you take.
There is a simple explanation for this. If you think you can, you will give it your best, but if you don't think you can, you won't even try.
That is very telling for specific situations, but what if a person feels inferior to those around them in general? How would this affect how a person behaves?
Don Shula said:
"The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others."
Failure is something that takes fortitude to accept. People who consider themselves inferior are in a weakened position, and there is a desperation to prove, first to themselves and then to others, that it simply wasn't their fault. That is when the whining begins. It is incredibly easy to spot people with inferiority complexes, they are constantly whining and blaming others for their own mistakes.
Alternatively, when a person feels the equal of all those around them, it is easy to see when they messed up, and they are quick to admit it without fear. Why is this?
It's simple, really. Literally everyone messes up regularly, and it isn't that big a deal if you did your best. The only people it really bothers are the aforementioned desperately inferior ones. Of course, the inferior ones didn't do their best to start with, totally sure they couldn't measure up.
An illustration if you will. Have you ever been driving behind someone in town, and every time they approach a green light, they begin to start slowing down a half a block away, just sure that the light is going to turn red to stop them. This self imposed failure is completely prophetic since they probably will get stopped by the light since their belief dictated their actions. They KNEW it would catch them, so they slowed down to get ready for it, thus MAKING it catch them.
You are the equal of everyone around you. If you believe it, your behavior will induce others to believe it as well. The reverse is also true. If you don't believe in your own equality, others will sense this, and their behavior will change accordingly. Which person would you rather be?
A final quote by Hank Aaron:
"I never doubted my ability, but when you hear all your life you're inferior, it makes you wonder if the other guys have something you've never seen before. If they do, I'm still looking for it."
Carter G. Woodson on Wikipedia
http://www.woodsonmuseum.org/about-us
http://www.nps.gov/cawo/index.htm
National Park Service, Carter G. Woodson Home
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Alan Alda, Actor
"Listening is being able to be changed by the other person."
Yeah, I know we SAY we listen, but is it possible we are just hearing, but not really listening? Hearing means sound is going by and being intercepted by our outer ear, being processed by the inner ear, and being interpreted by the brain to let you know what is being said. What you do with that info determines whether you are actually listening.
Larry King
"I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I am going to learn, I must do it by listening."
There is so much to learn from listening, but what or who do you listen to? Listening to new ideas is great and actually necessary, but there comes a time in every conversation where you must decide if what you are listening to is a good idea to continue. At work we can get into some really cool philosophical conversations, and I am constantly given information on the subjects that I had never thought of myself, and it gives me major food for thought. As Alan Alda says, I am open, and it actually changes me.
This being said, when would be a good time to stop listening and tune it out? If you do this too fast you can miss out on a lot. Many miss out simply because of who is talking. Since many teens just know that an adult, especially the parents aren't going to say anything useful, they tune them out categorically. I know many older people who do the same to teens since they haven't learned anything yet.
Neither of these things are true, and as I've said before on Daggers Of The Mind, every one you meet knows something you don't.
Ok, here is a situation when I tune the conversation out. There are times when the content of the conversation grieves me so much I just don't want to listen anymore. There are people I know who drop 4 f-bombs in every 10 words. There, I said it. By adding suffixes to them, every form of speech can be substituted in, and you have a major all purpose word there.
I remember asking my dad about this when I was young, when I was first exposed to a lot of cussing in a new school and he, with a straight face said, "It's because they don't have a very big vocabulary." I resolved at that young age, that I was never going to be caught with such a small vocabulary I would be forced to use the same word over and over in a sentence. So far, so good.
This doesn't mean that everyone who spices their words with constant profanity are stupid. Many times a person will talk to me in a perfectly normal and intelligent conversation, and when the cusser shows up, it's off to the races.
The official bottom line: Your first reaction should be to listen. Really listen. Once the content is established, you have a decision to make. Most of the time you will benefit quite a lot, and maybe even help others by continuing the conversation. Sometimes, it's time to get out of Dodge. It is your decision, and yours alone how much you are willing to be changed by others. Make the right choice.
Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science
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Monday, May 25, 2015
Rob Walch & Rod Stewart -DOTM035
Rob Walch, Vice President of Podcaster Relations at Liberated Syndication. More commonly known as Libsyn. This quote came from episode 45 of The Feed, the official Libsyn podcast. If you want to hear it, it happened at the 25 minute mark in the show.
“Never blame on malice that which can easily be explained by incompetence.”
Have you ever noticed how quickly we jump to the conclusion that someone has it out for us when things don’t go our way? On the individual level, that sometimes is the case, although it is less often than we ourselves think it is.
When we go there, we are thinking that the other person spends the same amount of time thinking about us and our needs as we do. But is this even possible? Turn it around and ask yourself. Is there another person in your world that you spent more time thinking about today? Someone whose welfare was more strongly in your mind than your own?
If you don’t include your own children, spouse and possibly other family members and close friends, how much time do you spend assuring the welfare of acquaintances and strangers? When faced specifically with a need, many of us will do what we can to help others, but more often, we in ignorance of their needs and agenda run rough shod right over them without realizing it. You just don’t have the time to take care of everyone.
Let’s get back to the original concept. If you don’t have enough time on a given day to be sensitive enough to consider every need that comes by you, what makes you think your personal pet peeves can be any more important to anyone else? They are doing exactly the same thing you are doing, taking care of their own concerns since you didn’t have the time to cover it for them.
So it follows that when someone rains on your parade in passing as they rush by, there is a very, very small chance that they were thinking of you at all, much less gunning for you to ruin your life. It is incredibly selfish of us to even think that others have the time to think of us as much as we think of our own problems.
Let’s take this one home. The vast majority of the time, when others offend you or step on you, they weren’t thinking of you AT ALL, much less TRYING to hurt you. They, like you, simply do not have the competence to think clearly about the needs of everyone they encounter. This is the basic human condition in a nutshell.
The final dimension is when you are dealing with large entities such as businesses, government and the like. They up front lack any human compassion. To keep track of the actual people they deal with, they assign them numbers. Being assigned a number is the first sign that you will not be treated with any consideration. The phrase, “It’s just business.” comes to mind. That is always how messing up human lives is explained.
Government is even worse in this regard. In Episode 24 of Daggers Of The Mind, I discuss the federal government’s betrayal of our veterans by the VA. Every large scale thing our inhuman government tries to do, people fall through the cracks, sometimes to their deaths.
This would be a good time for a movie quote: In first of the Star Wars movies, Princess Leia tells Governor Tarkin:
“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.”
Unfortunately this is totally true in the real world. The more control you attempt to exert, the less over all control you have. Since government is not likely to find the right balance any time in our lifetimes, incompetence will rule. They simply are not thinking of our individual needs at all. Only a large group of numbers that represent a huge group of people that are really unknown to the bureaucracy.
The bottom line is this: Most of the time, malice is not involved when something is done to you. Simple incompetence is the easy explanation because individuals, businesses and governments are just as selfish as we are.
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Rod Stewart, Legendary Rocker and Scale Model Train Enthusiast
“Every three years, Model Railroader puts me on their cover, which is better than Rolling Stone.”
It is really surprising when you find out some celebrity has a talent or habit that has absolutely nothing to do with the main thing they are known for. In this case, Mr. Stewart, known for being a music superstar, is being featured on the cover of Model Railroader. I checked into it and found that he has been a scale model railroad enthusiast since childhood.
Many celebrities have unrelated talents and interests. Country star Kenny Rogers does amazing photography. Actor George Montgomery created many famous detailed bronze sculptures. Actor Dudley Moore was a renowned concert pianist. Links to these gentlemen will be included in the show notes.
Now, take a look around you. Those you know only from work, school, or church are probably hiding some really wonderful talents that you would never dream of. With my friends, I have discovered writers, singers, artists, musicians, boxers, and martial artists. Also, talented gardeners, carpenters, engineers, mechanics and myriad of other talents that are hidden from view most of the time as they go about their normal vocations.
Each person you know is actually more than you really know. You probably know barely half of what they are capable of. While some choose to make a living at their greatest talents, many choose to keep a simple job that pays the bills while using their greatest assets in their spare time doing what they love with no interference from an employer.
Just because you don’t know what their talents are, don’t write anyone off or diminish their worth as a person. There have been times when I have seen a person’s attitude take a complete turn around when it is discovered that another person has some admirable talent.
The key here is this: don’t wait until you randomly find a particular talent in someone, always assume that each person you find has just such a talent. People are like onions, they have many layers. You will never see them all, but there is some really cool stuff in there.
Have basic respect for every human you meet. Believe me, there is more value there than you will ever know.
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Monday, May 18, 2015
Calvin Coolidge & Isaac Asimov -DOTM034
Calvin Coolidge, President Of The United States
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.”
Most people hope that they have the right words to say at the right time, but have you ever contemplated the value of silence? Silence is probably the most underused form of speech. We somehow think we can make things better if we explain something more. This is clearly not always the case.
It is possible to lose a sale, or a customer altogether if you keep on talking after the deal has been accepted. You can cause additional grief at a funeral by talking too much when you are nervously trying to comfort someone. It’s even possible to cause wars when somebody like a President talks too much. President Coolidge had so little to say, his nickname was “Silent Cal”. I think we can learn a little from him on this point.
In Episode 10 of Daggers Of The Mind, I told of another time when silence was just what was needed.
Here is an excerpt:
When my father-in-law was ill and coming to the end of his life, he had an old friend who was still mobile, and would come to visit him about once a week. The delight of both men to see each other was quite evident, but after the initial greetings and small talk, they would lapse into silence. For more than an hour sometimes, there would be no words spoken at all, and they would just sit there smiling and looking around. Finally, the visitor would stand and take his leave, my father-in-law thanking him profusely for visiting and saying how much he enjoyed the talk.
If either of them had continued to talk, it would have ruined the visit. Their personalities and relationship made it the perfect solution.
This next quote illustrates another time when you could get into trouble by talking.
“How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”
Emo Philips
According to The Free Dictionary .com, Telekinesis is “The supposed inducement of movement of an object by mental or spiritual power.”
Bragging or telling others you can do things you aren’t able to do for extra attention or just to belong to a certain group can get you into a lot of trouble when you are asked to demonstrate your ability in the real world. Embarrassing and not very funny. It’s much better to keep your mouth shut.
I will be the first to admit that when I get excited about a subject, I can really get verbal. I try to school myself to check the listener’s expression to see if they really want to hear what I have to say, or if they would rather get back to what they were doing before I opened my mouth and broke the silence.
People who spend a lot of time with people who talk too much all the time totally understand the meaning of “Silence is golden.”
I think if we learn to be silent more often, we can all have a golden life.
Calvin Coolidge at whitehouse.gov
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Isaac Asimov, Scientist and Prolific Writer
“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' “
As we go through the day to day routines of our lives, it is easy to get numb to pretty much everything. Our minds can become blunt objects. What we are lacking at this point is anticipation and curiosity about the world around us.
When we lose that sense of wonder, and the desire to learn about things that actually intrigue us, we are throwing away our main source of new knowledge and problem solving skills, that is, our curiosity.
Curiosity is something that comes naturally to babies and children. There are many things they don’t understand around them and there is a thirst simply to KNOW. Parents who find it too much trouble when their child asks questions is stifling their impulse to learn.
Eleanor Roosevelt said,
“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”
In many adults, the destruction of this great resource is complete. Like zombies, many go through their routines with nothing more than a knowledge of the routine, thinking that some day they will retire and life will be somehow better.
Lately there have been a lot of ads regarding mind exercises to give people protection against developing dementia. Looking online, there are a bunch of websites that are supposed to keep you sharp as you age. I can’t really make any claims about this, but it certainly can’t hurt to exercise you mind. I really think, however that there is plenty to keep your mind occupied without having to pay someone to customize a program to keep your mental cylinders firing.
Simply reading a book instead of watching TV can stimulate the creative part of your brain as you imagine the scenes that are being described to you. Playing chess, crossword and other types of puzzles, and many other things that cause you to think about a solution, or be simply curious can give your brain a workout and keep sharp focus.
If you make this type of brain stimulation part of your everyday routine, it will become second nature, a habit that can only be good for you to practice. We need our brains. It’s not likely we will have the chance to obtain a spare anytime soon. Take really good care of the one you have. Oh yeah, if someone says, “That’s funny”, pay attention and learn something.
On the Science Daily website, there is an article that explores how curiosity can enhance the learning experience. Check it out! The link is included in the show notes for Episode 34 at daggersofthemind.com.
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Monday, May 11, 2015
Cesar Chavez & Giada De Laurentiis -DOTM033
Cesar Chavez, Co-founder of The National Farm Workers Association
“Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.”
Let’s do the definition of disrespect. This time from the Urban Dictionary: a user called “this means“ defined it as: “the act of putting someone down, trying to make them feel low, treating someone in a horrible manner, showing a person they mean less than nothing to you, a hurtful act that is both rude and ignorant towards another person’s feelings.”
Nicely done I think. That sums it up well.
Most of us belong to multiple cultures. Race, gender, religion, and myriad of other things that we each identify with makes us who believe we are. Embracing each of these makes us the complete person have become. If we are comfortable with who we are, there is no need to put someone else down who is different in their thinking and experiences.
But are you truly comfortable with who you are? Feeling the need to put others down could be an indication that you really aren’t happy or comfortable with your own identity.
Most of us can look back in history and find incidents that involve injustices perpetrated by by one cultural group on our own. This begs the question of what we personally decide to do with this information.
One of my close friend is Scottish in ancestry, while mine is mostly English. There have been times in history when the English really lowered the boom and controlled the Scots. There are many stories of torture and other acts of brutality perpetrated on them in order to maintain that control with terror.
In Europe there were centuries of conflict between Catholic and Protestant monarchs who actively persecuted each other with completely innocent people being tortured and abused on both sides, just because they had a different belief.
With these two examples is it right for my Scottish friend to hate me, or for me to hate every Catholic I see? Of course not. There is one overriding reason for me to accept and be accepted by these two groups.
I didn’t do anything of this sort to my Scottish friend, and the Catholics have never done anything to me personally. Each of us are individuals who rise and fall on our own acts, not on those of our forebears.
When we meet others, we should completely ignore what their grandfather may have done, and let them show who they are, and what they have become on their watch. We can only pay for our own sins, and can only succeed by the effort we have each put forth to make our own lives and those around us better.
There are so many wonderful people we are missing the opportunity to be friends with because of the limitations we place on those with whom we will associate. Please don’t make a snap judgments based on stereotypes. It all comes down to this: Don’t be a hater. Just don’t do it.
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Giada De Laurentiis, Celebrity Chef
“Pasta doesn’t make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.”
Volume. In this application, Dictionary.com says, a mass or quantity, especially a large quantity, of something.
Most things that are good in moderation are not so good when you go extreme with the volume. Music with too much volume can damage your eardrums, and too much of a good food can make you fat, in this case, pasta.
For the record, pasta rocks. My wife, Dee is quite the cook, and she does Italian well. Her simple spaghetti with her home made sauce is totally excellent, and when she ups the ante with chicken parmesan, it is simply out of this world. I really do battle with volume when something that good to eat is available. As a result, I am not as svelte as I used to be.
The concept is self control. According to Joyce Meyer,
“I have learned that I really do have discipline, self-control, and patience. But they were given to me as a seed, and it's up to me to choose to develop them.”
Learning to control your appetite for food, drink and other things is pretty hard to do if you really weren’t taught to do so. A lack of discipline is this area moves a little closer to the beasts, who act on instinct and impulse, and lack the human level of reason and self control. That is the major dividing line between a savage and a civilized human being.
Taking this a step further, there are many humans who have completely thrown off the shackles of self control, and have become anti social, even psychopathic. This type of human animal thinks of themselves first and foremost, with no room to spare a thought for anyone else. If they want something, obtaining it is the number one priority, and anyone who gets in the way is likely to get hurt.
A quote from Joseph P. Bradley:
“Brutes are governed by their appetites and impulses. Savages are but little removed in this respect from brutes. Brutish men and coarse natures are mostly led by their impulses, appetites and passions. The true nobility of our nature is evinced by self-control, which restrains, governs and subdues the impulses, appetites, passions and desires.”
I don’t know of many people who would like to be known as a brute. Sure, many are macho and ACT like they don’t care what others think, but the very act of being macho shows that a person is attempting to hide from others what they know to be true about themselves. They feel inadequate, and are desperately trying to keep others from finding out.
Macho persons are not dangerous like the psychopath, but are merely clumsy at being brutes and acting like they don’t care. If you can, help the macho person gain confidence, and avoid the true brutes altogether. Your life may depend on it.
Giada De Laurentiis on Facebook
Giada De Laurentiis on Twitter
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Monday, May 4, 2015
Faith Hill & Jennifer Lopez -DOTM032
This first quote was contributed by my wife, Dee Holbrook.
Faith Hill, Country Music Superstar
“I don't know why 'happy' can't be a story.”
Most checkout lines in your local stores have them. People subscribe to get them, and there are entire TV shows dedicated to propagating them. Enough people want to hear them that millions are made. All those who want a piece of the business have to do, is publish bold faced lies.
I just noticed this week that for probably the 20th time, that Faith Hill and Tim McGraw are fighting and getting a divorce. It’s going to get ugly. The expressions on their faces tell the whole story. You believe this….. Right?
Ms Hill spoke the words in our first quote when asked in an interview about their marital troubles. Since they weren’t having any, she wondered why the only thing that was newsworthy had to be bad.
That is a good question. How is it possible that so much money and time could be wasted on information that is clearly known to be completely false? The people who buy tabloid magazines know what they are getting. What is the attraction?
I really think it is because many people want others who have a better life than they do to fail miserably. That way they can feel better about themselves without having to do anything to improve their own lives.
We lose so much by hoping for the failure of famous people instead of finding out what is actually working for them, and trying to learn from it and apply it to our own lives. The old fashioned hero doesn’t exist anymore. Anyone who seems to be doing great is somehow a threat instead of an example.
Sure, there are lot of famous people who fail, but there are a lot of us mere mortals who fail as well. It’s just a lot more public with celebrities.
Two Quotes from Actor Kevin Bacon
“I want to see the numbers that prove that show-business marriages are any less successful than other marriages. It's just very public when they fail.”
“Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can't go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else's success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.”
Dictionary.com has the secondary definition of cancer as “any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight.”
Things would be so much better if we could get rid of the blight of lies that spreads just like cancer. Obviously they have freedom of speech to publish any lie they want to. What makes it go so well for them is the fact that people are willing to shell out large sums of money to get this kind of trash.
Be constructive instead of destructive. Your life and those around you can be so much better if you will only make it so. Those who spend their time wanting others to fail as a substitute for their own failures aren’t going anywhere. Let ‘happy’ be your life story.
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Jennifer Lopez, Actress and Singer
“My mom always told me that if you work hard, you can achieve anything. And it's true. It's one of the truest things ever.”
It’s easy to look at famous people and say that if someone gave you a chance you could be great too. I’ve heard this a lot. My response is that if they did what they did, they would have what they’ve got.
It’s like seeing a house that a skilled builder made, and somehow expecting that doing half the work the builder did would achieve the same result. Sorry, but that’s not going to happen. We all would love to get something for nothing. It is just basic human nature to want things to be easy instead of difficult. We make our mistake when we assume the fame achieved by others was a lot easier than reality.
We didn’t see all the work it takes to be an overnight success. Sometimes it takes decades of grueling labor to be suddenly discovered and elevated to stardom. The key to discovery is very simple. Just don’t quit.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said,
“Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.”
Contrary to the lazy tendencies of the average human being, we have to keep plugging away at it until we achieve the success we desire, or die trying. If you aren’t dead yet, you should still be going for it.
Now working hard doesn’t mean that you work dumb. Do your homework and research what you are endeavoring to accomplish, set your goals and launch. You are really much better than you think you are. Set aside your fear and take that first step, then the next step and then the next. Concentrate on each step in turn, and you will look back a year from now and be surprised at how far you’ve come.
If you think, “I can’t do that!” Realize this is only something you haven’t accomplished YET. Study and learn about the steps to reach your goal, learn them, start taking them and don’t stop. Thinking you can is not magic, but it is important because if you don’t think you can, you will never even try. Your failure is then assured.
A quote by Thomas Edison
“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
It’s time to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty. Work hard and work smart. Never give up your dream.
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